A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

"I fell in love with the girl at the rock show"

Us + Blink 182 = general madness.

J and A were mildly sad that H wouldn't be joining them to see the band they had been waiting years to all see together, but H made her own decisions and well...she's gone. After a day of hard work they showed up early, screamed, moshed and grabbed Tom's guitar pick in a swirl of music and craziness. They made friends with a few punk dudes and ended up going back to their place to party afterwards.

A few shots later and A was hooking up with one of them in the corner of the room. J fucked another guy in his bedroom but he was an early finisher and kept complaining that she was leaving marks his girlfriend would notice. She left him in bed and went wandering around the house which appeared to be full of random rocker dudes who needed a place to crash. She ended up bumping into best-sex-she's-ever-had who was smoking something that wasn't tobacco or pot in the backroom but he was completely fucked up and didn't appear to notice her.

A got pissed off because the guy she was having sex with kept losing his hard-on due to the fact that they kept getting interrupted by numerous other people. It was too much for her when two guys started wanking each other off while watching them. Time to get a bit of self-respect and get the bloody hell out of there.

J was offered a bag of pills as she left the place and stuffed them in her bag just to be polite. On the way home they walked past a police car. J freaked out, emptied the pills in the creek and started running towards the train station.

And we get to do it all again tonight.

Monday, February 25, 2013

"This is a bad town, for such a pretty face"

Leaving A in the library, J dressed up in her sluttiest black dress to hit the rock clubs this weekend. Her new rock chick friend came along, wearing tall black boots and with a whole box of condoms stashed in her bag. Non latex. Because you never known when you might get a guy with an allergy and it's best to be prepared. Oh yeah, and did you know most lubes contained sugar? It's news apparently.

J's night was not going well when the bouncer who is normally friendly decided to full on check her ID and things went downhill from there. Her new friend was desperate for a root and attached herself to the first guy with a ponytail she saw. J spotted 'the one', alone and allegedly single again, and had to avoid him for the rest of the evening. Motley Crue then showed up with his new midget suburban girlfriend. He was also sporting a mullet and a wifebeater singlet. Hot. Even hotter than when he was rocking a pedo mustache and a shaved head. Some guys do not get fashion. J is glad she was with him when he was cool and his style was a shaggy haircut and nose piercing.

J eventually found a dude to hook up with, except he was stoned and on the search for pills most of the night and J was not interested. She called Druggie and begged her to come out, but she was too busy having kinky sex with her boyfriend in his parent's bed. Ew.

J decided to go home early. Unfortunately she ended up with a dodgy taxi driver who insisted on telling her his life story and demanded her phone number before she got out of the car. J isn't usually one for taxi drivers that do weird shit and she started yelling and opened the door on a main road, jumping out a red light and running off. At least it was a cheap trip home...

Friday, February 22, 2013

"If I'm going dancing, then I wear the highest heels with the shortest dress"

There's nothing like sipping beer and chilled wine on a steamy summer night with candles burning and sweat dripping down your back. Hot. Luckily J's parents bought her a box fan because she would 'knock over the stand-up one in a drunken stupor'. They know her well.

A decided enough was enough when it came to spending lazy summer days in the library. She donned a parrot printed dress and went drinking with all her uni friends. L, being the relationship chick she is now, didn't return A's text. Neither did the boyfriend coincidentally. At least they were getting laid. A seems to think there is a serious shortage of attractive eligible men in the city at the moment and is convinced all the hot ones are in Europe tanning on a Greek island. Of course this didn't stop her from drinking every cocktail on the menu, dancing on stage and groping a guy with visible back hair when he was wearing a shirt. Several of her friends also decided to try photo-bombing random couples and posting pictures of them smiling creepily while couples made out on facebook. Attracted more than a few likes. All from single people naturally.

A has been wearing high heels way too much lately. She's always been on the short side but makes up for it with her formidable personality. Lately she's tried to turn the tables but unfortunately A has no balance. Her black wedges may have looked cool, but they caused her to faceplant on the concrete outside Subway when she bent down to pick up a dropped clutch. It's not the first time that's happened but at least that was outside Maccas. Subway is just embarrassing,

Sunday, February 17, 2013

"I am unfit for any and all paying jobs"

The most frustrating part of studying for a living? When you find the perfect article/case on the internet for the paper/project/essay you are working on...and someone wants to make you pay for it.

Fuck that. Assume the article supports your view and reference it anyway.

Friday, February 15, 2013

"Say your prayers little one"

Valentine's Day. It doesn't matter whether you're single, newly coupled up, or in a long-term relationship. You will be disappointed. Unless you have very, very low expectations. Which, let's be honest, quite frequently we do.

G was supposed to be going on an awesome shopping trip to the markets with the new friends she's met overseas, but spent most of the day chasing around her boyfriend's instructions for a special surprise she was supposed to receive. Unfortunately the surprise didn't quite work out, and all the flowers and chocolates her boyfriend had ordered didn't show up and G was sitting in a small restaurant on her own feeling lonely while all her friends bought some super cool artwork and knitted boots.

L got exactly zero surprises from her new boyfriend. In fact, the only surprise seemed to be the expression on his face when he realised he was actually supposed to do something. Instead of a romantic dinner L got to hang out with all of his mates eating cheap Vietnamese noodles and talking about 'souped up cars'. Oh yeah. He's a real romantic.

M got a text from her new loverboy about an hour before they were supposed to meet up saying he had a family emergency. Nothing you can do about that of course so she stayed at home watching Friends and eating pizza. He called her about 3am for phone sex. She was not quite so impressed with that, especially since she had to be up early for work.

J and A decided to ignore the couples and went to the beach. Unfortunately people decided PDAs were acceptable and were all but having sex (and some probably were) in the water or on their towels. They both realised with a jolt that at the moment they have absolutely no male attention in their life, not even to call up for a quickie. A bit depressing actually. Which made J want to go out and hit the clubs boozed up on gin. Except, of course, that it was couples everywhere. She even bumped into C and his new boyfriend. Just not cool. Even A's little brother was apparently buying roses.

Monday, February 11, 2013

"My eagle's too busy looking out for me"

How exactly is it that you have to wait for a seat at the Pancake Parlour at 1am on a Monday morning? How can it be that busy? Why are people up at that time?

I mean obviously we are drunk and need a hot fudge fix, but what is everyone else's excuse?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty"

M is back on the commitment bandwagon, declaring the guy she has been sleeping with for the past 3 weeks or so is her new boyfriend. E had seemed calm with the idea when he though it was just casual sex, but he been making snide remarks ever since M announced they were official. Then again it probably doesn't help that the new boyfriend thinks it is 'weird' that M still hangs out with E. M is balancing them both fine enough at the minute, but let's just hope it isn't the calm before the storm.

A is still spending sunny days in the library or in court and is so bored she has developed insomnia. She has become a little whiny with self pity over a study program that she chose and got pissed off with autistic guy since he didn't seem to understand her complaints. On occasion she cheers herself up by getting so drunk she falls down stairs and has to be shoved into a taxi by bouncers before passing out in her own bed.

J went on a other camping trip with Druggie and Druggie's new boyfriend. Druggie just cannot comprehend the single life and it is starting to bother J. Still, they had a pleasant few days staring at the stars and smoking too much weed. All for the best when the new uni semester is just around the corner and J is still not even sure the uni is going to let her back in she has failed so many classes. But come on now, isn't failing cool?

C has a new gay relationship and is supposedly in love with this one too. Poor boy seems a bit confused, and not just about his sexuality. Great sex does not equal great love.

And of course everyone is ridiculously jealous of G and her photos running around Machu Picchu topless.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

What we're doing this month...

Loving: stress eating...just not the extra weight
Listening to: Metallica
Crushing on: Andy Murray, except for his stupid haircut
Worshipping: facebook

Eating: toasted burritos
Drinking: goon, it's all we can afford right now
Rocking: backless dresses
Reading: the newspapers
Failing: to stay honest