A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

"It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?"

It's a new year and, naturally, nothing has changed. Does anyone believe it actually will? Oh year, for the first week of January the number of joggers on well-worn paths trebles (much to J's irritation as she runs 4 times a week year round) but by now everything is back to normal and everyone is buying up a lot of booze and lamb for the Australia Day BBQ.

Anyway, J has more to worry about than a few extra people jogging on her preferred route. She's still trying to dodge 'the one' is still ringing her constantly suggesting they 'hang out' which is not something she wants to do with him. He is posting sad, pathetic posts of facebook about how he misses his girlfriend (well ex) but he is still hitting on J. And we thought at the very least he was a nice guy. You just can't trust anyone. J's psychotic French grandma is also down for a visit. Naturally, all she does is abuse J about every aspect of her personality from her tattoos to her long hair and what she's doing with her life. It's no wonder J is holed up in her room smoking pot for most of every visit from her grandma. Her mother just seems to disappear for most of the time and her father is also hitting the wacko tobacco. Luckily, it's only a one week stay.

The alternative grandma is A's Betty White like grandma who decided to stay with A for a few days after G moved out (she's left for the great South American adventure, and managed to get her card skimmed on her first day in Brazil). She potters around the house making super spicy curries and yelling about how overrated Tomic is while watching the tennis before telling A she's off to the movies with a nice fellow she met at the RSL. Meanwhile A has been hooking up with a high-functioning autistic guy she met at a pub. It's working out surprisingly well because he can't show or read emotion, and neither can A. And they both don't really seem to care.

M has started pole-dancing classes as her New Year's Resolution and apparently it is a good workout. Unfortunately everyone there is female. Her and E spent NYE together with a few other friends and had an excellent night. M is thinking that maybe, after everything, they do actually make better friends after all. Well she says that, until he finds another girl. Which he will. E is never short of a girlfriend. Although M hasn't really been short a boyfriend for awhile now.

L spent NYE in a hotel room with her new boyfriend, much to everyone's disgust. She received a bunch of catcalling phone calls which she chose to ignore. She also bumped into her ex, secret admirer, a few days ago. He suggested they catch up. L told him that sounded good but didn't mention the new boyfriend. It's an odd situation for her. At the time, she really thought she cared about secret admirer even though she didn't want a serious relationship with him. Now she thinks maybe that was all in her head, because she's managed to overcome her commitment phobia with her new boyfriend. Sadly, she has become quite smug about it and now thinks she's the expert on overcoming commitment phobia and keeps telling A and J that one day they'll find the right guy. A pointed out that she's seeing a guy who has autism because she can't stand emotions and that every guy who falls in love with J makes her want to run the other way. Or put him 6 feet under. Maybe they are just a little bit more fucked up.

C has, thankfully, broken up with his boyfriend but is now in some bizzare threeway relationship with another guy and a girl. It might be a little too (semi)monogamous, but is so typically C to behave so strangely that it seems there's hope for him yet. Well, until he decides to settle in the suburbs and have 2.5 kids.