"I'm gonna make you girls a hump day treat!"

We all have those moments when going out for a few dozen drinks and getting really really hammered on a week night is a good idea. It never is. The next day the hangover is pounding through the skull anf there is work or study to get through. And no one understands why you look like you're about to throw up all over their shoes. Remember that the next time you go for mid-week drinks.

If only we could take our own advice.

A went out for drinks with a guy from work who she suspected was hitting on her. He is firmly in her friend zone, so she did what any self-respecting girl would do...went to hit on someone else. Turns out the guy she chose was a weirdo who insisted he was Kazakhtsan but A has her doubts. He all got her number and won't stop messaging. Doesn't seem to understand the concept of a phase out. This is a hangover that just may last more than 24 hours.

J went to a gig to a gig with rock chick. The band wasn't very good, although the bassist was incredibly good looking. J had a few shots and geared herself up to go pop a hip and flirt with him, but as it turned out he was the designated driver. Not only did he seem to disapprove of drinking mid-week, but there was absolutely nothing that could be done to convince him to stick around when he had to drive a bunch of arrogant hooligans home.

L won't be seen until she emerges from her study cave after exams are over. A typical L move of course, except that it is clear she is making time for her boyfriend.

"What is this place? Hogwarts?"

Sometimes you just get desperate for a root. With all the lack of options lately, J decided to jump the first semi-attractive guy she met on Saturday night. She didn't even take her socks off, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

Unfortunately, the guy confessed to her, in the morning, that he'd once hooked up with her friend. Years ago. J was blank. She'd never met this guy before, and A would definitely have warned her if she was going after her seconds. A is good like that. But no. The friend he was talking about was B. So it was years ago then.

Turns out J did remember him after all. Before hooking up with B he'd said to her 'kissies now?' and then had asked her back to his place but assured her that they 'didn't have to do anything'.

Some things you are best off not knowing.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: being able to wear our collection of patterned black stockings again
Listening to: Deftones
Crushing on: John Bender from The Breakfast Club
Worshipping: John Hughs
Eating: pork sausage rolls
Drinking: mulled wine by the fire place
Rocking: studded ankle boots
Reading: the Dante Valentine series by Lilith Saintcrow
Failing: to go to the doctor when we need to

"Almost getting it kind of together"

All is going well for J, since A and her A-replacement rock chick get along like a house of fire. It's definitely a good thing when your 2 best friends get along. The only thing worrying J is that they won't have enough guys to go around. Except A had something of an epiphany while on her recent trip. It's not about how attractive they are, it's about how they make you feel. Apparently this was picked up while she was screwing the Napoleon-Dynamite-esque German who was 'definitely not her type'. She had so much fun with him, and it was so unexpected, and now she's become all smug about her sex life. Well, woohoo A.

Rock chick has been sleeping with a skater guy with a really big nose who she is embarrassed to be seen with and so is trying to keep it on the down low. It isn't really working, probably because he seems to be following her around and preventing her from hooking up with other guys. Yeah, we know how this is done. We saw it all before with J and Wow. Rock chick claims not to like him, then she spends all day in bed with him. This is not the way great romances begin. Or, for that matter, end.

J is still flirting ridiculous with Blondie. He still has his ridiculous girlfriend. And his friend is still ridiculously in love with rock chick. So it's all ridiculous. Great. For J, sex has basically become a memory.

M has had to move out of A's house now that she is back. She has moved back in with her dad and sister. Just temporarily because she has booked flights to Paris next month. One-way flights. No return. She has also stopped seeing her boyfriend with the hilarious name. E seems genuinely concerned about her mental state but M keeps saying she is fine. She does find living back home endlessly awkward, and still doesn't know how to react to her parents acting half like horny teenagers and half like adults who have no idea what the fuck is going on. Cringe-worthy. A is living with her brother, who is still going through bouts of misery. Not over his now ex-girlfriend or the bad case of worms he had but just generally. Like the rest of us, he is starting to realise he has no idea where in life he is going and it is freaking him out.

No one has heard much from L. She told A that they had to grab lunch and she wanted to hear about her trip and then bailed. She hasn't been at mutual friends' birthday parties. It seems she has become one of those girls that gets a boyfriend and vanishes. Or perhaps it's because no one likes her boyfriend and she can't take him anywhere.

At least G has her shit together. She just doesn't have any interesting stories.

"Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time"

A is finally back home and M is relieved. When A's younger brother finally managed to get on to his new girlfriend, she dumped him. Poor guy was devastated. First break-ups are hard. It probably didn't help that a day later he discovered he had worms. M didn't really know what to say. She should know, since she's been through more break-ups than everyone else put together and was really down and out after she split up with E. Then it turned out the girlfriend has depression and was going through a really rough time and A's brother had no idea what to say to that. They hadn't been together long enough for him to play the supportive boyfriend role. But he doesn't want to be the jerk either. Luckily A arrived home just in time to give the advice he needed. Which was blow her off, get really drunk, hook up with three different girls, and show up to the footy the next day hungover and angry. Not such great advice. M stepped in, kind of digging the big sister role. Even though she has a younger sister. But her sister is going through real issues ever since their parents divorce and M doesn't really want to face any of that. Either way A's brother is back to being single and ready to mingle. That is, back to his old player status. A is just loving this shit.

M is still dating the guy with the funny name but feels as if it's going nowhere. Which it probably is. She feels a bit depressed about life in general and how she has no idea what she's doing. She tried to explain these feelings to the boyfriend, but he didn't seem to understand. She spoke to E about it instead and they had a long D and M about their lives and how they are not turning out the way they expected. It seems the days are numbered for M and her new guy. After speaking with A about her trip, she's also decided to take the next semester off and travel. Sometimes you just need a break to sort your shit out.

Not that A sorted any of her shit out while she was away. She is her usual self. She's over and out of uni and working full time in retail. She seems surprised that this isn't boring her, but that's probably a good thing. It means she can drink every night and not worry about responsibilities or deadlines or any of the other stuff she had to worry about before. It's the ultimate in freedom. Unfortunately it means she's now intellectually dead and her brain can't even comprehend the simplest parts of the newspapers. She's not up for any kind of intellectual conversation, and that used to be A's thing. Maybe it came from hooking up with an American overseas (who was apparently irritating and ditched her to suck-up to some fuddy duddy academic) or from her socially retarded German who was as goofy as Napoleon Dynamite. Probably it's a burn-out from studying all summer. Still, A has returned convinced she not only has a commitment problem but that she's also dissociated emotionally as well. That's probably true, but A can't bring herself to care about it all that much.

J is going through a dry spell. Ever since she decided she no longer wanted to be with the punk guy who was a little too into anal sex for her liking, there has been nothing. Except for Blondie, the guy in the band that she and rock chick hang out with. But Blondie, while being hot and having the exact same opinion as hers on every Queens of the Stone Age song, has a psychotic girlfriend and no balls to break up with her. Or maybe he's happy with her. Who knows? He doesn't seem happy. Whenever she isn't around he bitches about her jealous behavior while downing Jack and coke like it's going out of fashion (and that is a drink that, unlike the Cosmo, will not go out of fashion). Whenever she is around he's all smiles and the perfect boyfriend. Except that his eye twitches. Manically. They appear to have nothing in common. But maybe opposites attract. Whatever. J is never going to make the first move. Because he has a girlfriend. But he flirts with her constantly and it's driving her insane. His other friend still seems to be in love with rock chick who couldn't be less into him. She is pissed off though, because the metal head she was having fantastic sex with told her to 'get serious' and that they could no longer have sex because she wasn't serious enough.

And let's be honest, who wants to be more serious than what they already are?

"What are you going to do? Steal a car? Burn down a house? Punch out the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend."

No love will ever compare to my love of hats.

With A still out of the country and out of the loop, J has had to entertain herself. Well her and her new friend rock chick. Who is the coolest of the cool, with hair so long she could wipe her arse with, an amazing taste in music and friends in every local metal band, and a vegan diet. She's like H, except more hippie and more outrageous. Rock chick is like J, in that she will fuck anything and not give a shit and doesn't expect to see that guy ever again. Rock chick is not like J, in that she doesn't feel the urge to flee immediately after sex but is happy to sit around all day watching old episodes of Faulty Towers with a guy she may never see again. They've been going to a lot of gigs together, and drinking a lot of cider together (and the weather has turned cold now and that is not at all enticing) and hanging out with random people who think they are creative but are really just on drugs. Or the dole. But usually both.

Rock chick was sleeping with this metal head who was a few years older than her and charming in an egocentric kind of way. J thought he was a twat but whatever. Rock chick claimed he was so good in bed that when he drove her back to his place she'd get so hot she'd have to masturbate in the car. J has never had sex quite that good. But then, not so many people have.

Lately they've been hanging out with a group of three guys they just met. They are all in a band, naturally, but the band isn't half bad and they can actually afford to pay their rent without demanding money from the government. That's something right? Anyway out of the three, one is permanently single because he goes for girls way out of his league, one has a jealous girlfriend and the third just got out of a 5 year relationship. Of course the third one instantly got a crush on rock chick because she is undeniably awesome, attractive and unattainable. All the things guys want. And of course J instantly wanted the guy with the girlfriend. Because everyone wants what they can't have. Especially J. But really they should just all remain friends. Because when you find people whose musical tastes almost exactly match yours, there are way better things to do than have sex. Leave that to the metal heads with the car.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: the new season of Girls
Listening to: The Angels
Crushing on: Luke Treadaway...yeah it's probably the English accent so what?
Worshipping: Chloe Sevigny
Eating: mug cakes
Drinking: cider
Rocking: paisley printed jeans
Reading: Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
Failing: to remember the name of the guy we're sleeping with

"I can like your cock and not be a whore"

The awkward moment when you're watching porn and someone else walks in...

J's hotel room escapades with the punk guy who's into kinky sex went better than expected. And though he brought with him a backpack full of toys, there were no anal beads in sight. Plus. While J had fun she has no real need to repeat the adventure. Even for her, sex 5 times in one night is a bit much. Three is probably her limit. Plus the whole thing was starting to make her feel a bit like a whore. She was feeling as if she was just being used for sex without any kind of respect for everything else that she is. It's a fine line sometimes. There's a big difference between liking and enjoying sex and being a whore. And no girl likes to feel like a whore. Probably even when she's being paid for it.

Nobody has still heard anything from A. Her brother has been in a funk because his girlfriend has stopped answering his phone calls and he can't work out why. M has been trying to cheer him up, going as far as baking cookies and flourless chocolate cake. She feels kind of strange about it since they aren't exactly friends but they are living together and he is A's little brother, and M knows that if A were there she would do anything to cheer her brother up. Because for all of A's faults, the one thing she is (usually) is a good sister. Anyway she needs something to distract herself from the millions of assignments she has for uni.

G is enjoying her new adult life back home. She is living with her boyfriend, has a proper job, goes to trivia on Tuesday nights and drinks 2 glasses of wine with the girls from work on Friday nights. Could things get any more boring for her? But then if it doesn't bother her it can't really bother anyone.

"Giving me the sweet talk, walking down the cat walk"

A is in Europe and she's supposed to be hanging out with socially retarded nerd types who are obsessed with international law. We don't really know what she's up to though, as her only communication has been an email to J stating 'I just fucked a guy like Napoleon Dynamite.' We seriously hope she's joking.

Meanwhile back home her brother and M are dealing with their awkward living situation. They never really knew each other outside of the fact that M is one of A's best friends, and that she got really drunk and photobombed all the pictures at both his 18th and 21st birthday. The fact that his girlfriend is always over makes it even more strange and M doesn't know much what to say.

J is still sleeping with the not so punk punk guy. He doesn't even go to local punk gigs and J's metal head rock chick A-replacement is not impressed. Plus there's the fact that he's into kinky sex and wanted to have sex with J on a public train. J doesn't mind occasional action in a quiet park, but there's a line she just won't cross and that's about it. Still, she's planned a night in a hotel room with him. Here's hoping there's no appearance of anal beads. Apparently they're a thing.

L and A haven't been speaking since A left for overseas. Not that they aren't speaking, just that they haven't spoken. Which is not so weird considering A has barely spoken to anyone and her facebook updates leave more questions that answers, except that L doesn't seem that bothered by it. Her boyfriend is about to start a full time traineeship soon. Maybe she'll have more spare time. Probably not.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: internet banking 
Listening to: The Kooks
Crushing on: Harvey Specter from Suits
Worshipping: Alfred Hitchcock
Eating: black truffle dumplings
Drinking: jaeger bombs
Rocking: striped jumpers
Reading: Noble House by James Clavell
Failing: to pay our bills on time

"And all the passengers were drunk and insane"

A has taken off to Europe for some international law school competition. We're hoping upon her return she will be more like her normal self than the (slightly) boring nerd she's been the past few months. M has taken up residence in her flat with her brother and his girlfriend, who while not living there seems to be. M is still looking for a new place after randomly moving our of her last house. The search is not all that successful thus far.

J, or course, is back to hating uni and her job and the 'punk' guy she seems to be sleeping with on a regular basis even though she doesn't like him very much. Her life is all about 4 day benders where she loses her work key and then gets hour-long lectures from her boss who is younger than her and looks like she's made of plastic. Getting kicked out of a bar because Axl Rose showed up might have been cool back in the day, but now he's fat and she thinks she deserves to be getting drunk more than him. There also seems to be a distinct lack of babes around.

L is her usual relationship self, answering text messages a day too late and just generally being hopeless at anything in life that doesn't involve her boyfriend.

G has recently returned from South America and moved in with her boyfriend. They already seem to be having issues as there isn't really enough space for her and he never has any money. G also kind of expected to be showered with love and affection when she arrived home, but her boyfriend was at work. It's not working out exactly as she'd hoped...Meanwhile, there's jet lag.

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in"

M decided to make the spontaneous decision to move out of the place she was living in, as she was sick of living so far from the city and the bathroom kept flooding. Unfortunately the share house she was supposed to be moving into turned out to be dodgy and she realised that this spontaneous decision meant she had nowhere to live. For now, she's crashing on A's couch and trying to fund somewhere else to move. A's brother isn't too impressed but then he's hardly ever home since he's always staying at his new girlfriend's house. And that is something A is not impressed with. She thought she brought him up so well.

Meanwhile A got in a huge fight with L's new boyfriend and their friendship seems more unstable than it's been since the toxic twins were involved. A swears this wasn't even her fault. She was trying to be nice about the whole relationship thing since she knew she'd been a bitch when they first announced they hooked up and was actually making an effort. Then one of their mutual uni friends called L's boyfriend a dick because he called him defensive and aggressive and they got in an argument that looked like it was about to escalate into a fistfight. A dragged them away from each other and then told L she was taking their friend home. L's boyfriend was pissed off and started bitching about their (once?) mutual friend. A warned him not to because the other guy is one of her best mates but he would not shut up and then he started calling her a bad friend and A couldn't help herself. They nearly got into a fistfight until she was dragged away by another friend. Later everyone apologised to L, but everyone hates her boyfriend. That never ends well.

J has found a couple of hippie friends to smoke with at parks and has been seen perving at young skaters at skate parks. Um J...they are too young for you. That's okay, because she's sleeping with a new guy now. He's completely attractive but he's a bit of a twat. He keeps going on about how 'punk' he is when he isn't really punk at all. Don't real punks eat out of garbage bins? He still lives with his parents and has a physics degree. He's also a little bit strange and has started to suggest to J that they experiment with things like golden showers. J likes to think she's pretty open-minded, but she draws the line at piss and shit. He is also really into anal sex, which J doesn't mind but she does query that if he's that into it, maybe he should be sleeping with dudes...

What we're doing this month...

Loving: outdoor music concerts in the rain
Listening to: Blink 182 and The Offspring
Crushing on: Jake Johnson from New Girl...we love us a slacker
Worshipping: Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge
Eating: tomato chutney
Drinking: tequila sunrise
Rocking: floral dresses
Reading: The Godfather by Mario Puzo
Failing: to keep up with the Kardashians.

"I fell in love with the girl at the rock show"

Us + Blink 182 = general madness.

J and A were mildly sad that H wouldn't be joining them to see the band they had been waiting years to all see together, but H made her own decisions and well...she's gone. After a day of hard work they showed up early, screamed, moshed and grabbed Tom's guitar pick in a swirl of music and craziness. They made friends with a few punk dudes and ended up going back to their place to party afterwards.

A few shots later and A was hooking up with one of them in the corner of the room. J fucked another guy in his bedroom but he was an early finisher and kept complaining that she was leaving marks his girlfriend would notice. She left him in bed and went wandering around the house which appeared to be full of random rocker dudes who needed a place to crash. She ended up bumping into best-sex-she's-ever-had who was smoking something that wasn't tobacco or pot in the backroom but he was completely fucked up and didn't appear to notice her.

A got pissed off because the guy she was having sex with kept losing his hard-on due to the fact that they kept getting interrupted by numerous other people. It was too much for her when two guys started wanking each other off while watching them. Time to get a bit of self-respect and get the bloody hell out of there.

J was offered a bag of pills as she left the place and stuffed them in her bag just to be polite. On the way home they walked past a police car. J freaked out, emptied the pills in the creek and started running towards the train station.

And we get to do it all again tonight.

"This is a bad town, for such a pretty face"

Leaving A in the library, J dressed up in her sluttiest black dress to hit the rock clubs this weekend. Her new rock chick friend came along, wearing tall black boots and with a whole box of condoms stashed in her bag. Non latex. Because you never known when you might get a guy with an allergy and it's best to be prepared. Oh yeah, and did you know most lubes contained sugar? It's news apparently.

J's night was not going well when the bouncer who is normally friendly decided to full on check her ID and things went downhill from there. Her new friend was desperate for a root and attached herself to the first guy with a ponytail she saw. J spotted 'the one', alone and allegedly single again, and had to avoid him for the rest of the evening. Motley Crue then showed up with his new midget suburban girlfriend. He was also sporting a mullet and a wifebeater singlet. Hot. Even hotter than when he was rocking a pedo mustache and a shaved head. Some guys do not get fashion. J is glad she was with him when he was cool and his style was a shaggy haircut and nose piercing.

J eventually found a dude to hook up with, except he was stoned and on the search for pills most of the night and J was not interested. She called Druggie and begged her to come out, but she was too busy having kinky sex with her boyfriend in his parent's bed. Ew.

J decided to go home early. Unfortunately she ended up with a dodgy taxi driver who insisted on telling her his life story and demanded her phone number before she got out of the car. J isn't usually one for taxi drivers that do weird shit and she started yelling and opened the door on a main road, jumping out a red light and running off. At least it was a cheap trip home...

"If I'm going dancing, then I wear the highest heels with the shortest dress"

There's nothing like sipping beer and chilled wine on a steamy summer night with candles burning and sweat dripping down your back. Hot. Luckily J's parents bought her a box fan because she would 'knock over the stand-up one in a drunken stupor'. They know her well.

A decided enough was enough when it came to spending lazy summer days in the library. She donned a parrot printed dress and went drinking with all her uni friends. L, being the relationship chick she is now, didn't return A's text. Neither did the boyfriend coincidentally. At least they were getting laid. A seems to think there is a serious shortage of attractive eligible men in the city at the moment and is convinced all the hot ones are in Europe tanning on a Greek island. Of course this didn't stop her from drinking every cocktail on the menu, dancing on stage and groping a guy with visible back hair when he was wearing a shirt. Several of her friends also decided to try photo-bombing random couples and posting pictures of them smiling creepily while couples made out on facebook. Attracted more than a few likes. All from single people naturally.

A has been wearing high heels way too much lately. She's always been on the short side but makes up for it with her formidable personality. Lately she's tried to turn the tables but unfortunately A has no balance. Her black wedges may have looked cool, but they caused her to faceplant on the concrete outside Subway when she bent down to pick up a dropped clutch. It's not the first time that's happened but at least that was outside Maccas. Subway is just embarrassing,

"I am unfit for any and all paying jobs"

The most frustrating part of studying for a living? When you find the perfect article/case on the internet for the paper/project/essay you are working on...and someone wants to make you pay for it.

Fuck that. Assume the article supports your view and reference it anyway.

"Say your prayers little one"

Valentine's Day. It doesn't matter whether you're single, newly coupled up, or in a long-term relationship. You will be disappointed. Unless you have very, very low expectations. Which, let's be honest, quite frequently we do.

G was supposed to be going on an awesome shopping trip to the markets with the new friends she's met overseas, but spent most of the day chasing around her boyfriend's instructions for a special surprise she was supposed to receive. Unfortunately the surprise didn't quite work out, and all the flowers and chocolates her boyfriend had ordered didn't show up and G was sitting in a small restaurant on her own feeling lonely while all her friends bought some super cool artwork and knitted boots.

L got exactly zero surprises from her new boyfriend. In fact, the only surprise seemed to be the expression on his face when he realised he was actually supposed to do something. Instead of a romantic dinner L got to hang out with all of his mates eating cheap Vietnamese noodles and talking about 'souped up cars'. Oh yeah. He's a real romantic.

M got a text from her new loverboy about an hour before they were supposed to meet up saying he had a family emergency. Nothing you can do about that of course so she stayed at home watching Friends and eating pizza. He called her about 3am for phone sex. She was not quite so impressed with that, especially since she had to be up early for work.

J and A decided to ignore the couples and went to the beach. Unfortunately people decided PDAs were acceptable and were all but having sex (and some probably were) in the water or on their towels. They both realised with a jolt that at the moment they have absolutely no male attention in their life, not even to call up for a quickie. A bit depressing actually. Which made J want to go out and hit the clubs boozed up on gin. Except, of course, that it was couples everywhere. She even bumped into C and his new boyfriend. Just not cool. Even A's little brother was apparently buying roses.

"My eagle's too busy looking out for me"

How exactly is it that you have to wait for a seat at the Pancake Parlour at 1am on a Monday morning? How can it be that busy? Why are people up at that time?

I mean obviously we are drunk and need a hot fudge fix, but what is everyone else's excuse?

"Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty"

M is back on the commitment bandwagon, declaring the guy she has been sleeping with for the past 3 weeks or so is her new boyfriend. E had seemed calm with the idea when he though it was just casual sex, but he been making snide remarks ever since M announced they were official. Then again it probably doesn't help that the new boyfriend thinks it is 'weird' that M still hangs out with E. M is balancing them both fine enough at the minute, but let's just hope it isn't the calm before the storm.

A is still spending sunny days in the library or in court and is so bored she has developed insomnia. She has become a little whiny with self pity over a study program that she chose and got pissed off with autistic guy since he didn't seem to understand her complaints. On occasion she cheers herself up by getting so drunk she falls down stairs and has to be shoved into a taxi by bouncers before passing out in her own bed.

J went on a other camping trip with Druggie and Druggie's new boyfriend. Druggie just cannot comprehend the single life and it is starting to bother J. Still, they had a pleasant few days staring at the stars and smoking too much weed. All for the best when the new uni semester is just around the corner and J is still not even sure the uni is going to let her back in she has failed so many classes. But come on now, isn't failing cool?

C has a new gay relationship and is supposedly in love with this one too. Poor boy seems a bit confused, and not just about his sexuality. Great sex does not equal great love.

And of course everyone is ridiculously jealous of G and her photos running around Machu Picchu topless.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: stress eating...just not the extra weight
Listening to: Metallica
Crushing on: Andy Murray, except for his stupid haircut
Worshipping: facebook
Eating: toasted burritos
Drinking: goon, it's all we can afford right now 
Rocking: backless dresses
Reading: the newspapers
Failing: to stay honest

"It's not you, it's me"

What sucks: the way this generation is expected to be educated and experienced before entering the workforce, and if you didn't graduate in the top 1% of your class and your dad isn't the best mate of so-and-so you can still expect to be working unpaid volunteer/intern work for the first year or more of your career. This is living the dream? Maybe a career waitressing or in retail is not that bad.

E is back to unpaid volunteer work after the company he was working for as a graphic designer went bust and still tends bar by night. A has been slaving away all summer without a hope in hell of getting a job upon graduation. J is busy studying for a supplementary exam that could get her kicked out of university. M has no idea what she's doing with her life. At least things are working out for G and L, at least on the professional front. It's just all crap really.

A continues her fling with the autistic guy but he is starting to bother her be completely ignoring social norms. He is also apparently into kinky sex and wants to get her off while her body is covered in pegs. A is not against blindfolds or being tied up, but pegs is a little weird...and it doesn't turn her on. So that's likely to go down the drain. She's also trying to adjust living with her brother after living with G for so long. Sometimes she feels like her mother when she nags at him to wash the dishes or clean his clothes off the floor. And she is not old enough to be feeling like her mother. Then there's the dodgy van that has been parked outside their place since the day after her brother moved in. Odd.

J bumped into 'the one' and his ex-now-back-on-girlfriend while out last week. They were acting all coupley so J said hi and then went to make some new friends. Later in the night she started chatting to the girlfriend while having a cigarette and she told J that although they'd had a few difficulties she and 'the one' had never actually broken up. She seemed a bit pissed off that J didn't seem to know that. J was a bit pissed off that 'the one' had basically lied to her and tried to get sympathy off her, as well as get into her pants. The later she's used to. She confronted 'the one' about it who assured her they had actually broken up but had decided to get back together. J wasn't sure what to believe but she figured it was 'the one' who was her friend. She started hanging out with him, but the girlfriend cracked the shits and started yelling and made a huge scene. 'the one' looked embarrassed. J just felt sick of the whole thing. Apparently them being friends is impossible. His girlfriend called J a slut and told her to stop chasing after 'the one' to which J responded she has no interest in fucking 'the one' EVER and then he got pissed off which only made the girlfriend more pissed off...J got home the next night to discover her and A had been deleted off facebook. She was hoping they could stay friends but that's that.

M has been spending a lot of time with one of the guy she went out on a date with. He has the funniest name ever, but sadly it can't be printed here. Use your imagination. Apparently they've already had sex in every room of M's house. She seems pretty impressed with it all which is nice to see. E even seems happy for her although M isn't exactly calling him her boyfriend yet. Maybe she needs more of the casual things in life rather than being hyper-committed all the time.

L is getting weirder and weirder about her relationship, trying to hide details and lying about where she has been (or who she has been with) even when it's obvious or she's been tagged on facebook. She admitted it's because her boyfriend wants to keep the relationship private. Um...when you hook up with one of your friends you don't get to have a private relationship. Everybody has an invested interest, everybody wants to know what's going on and how it's going to turn out. If you want a private relationship, go hook up with someone halfway across town none of your mates know. Hook up with a member of the friendship group, and it's everyone's business. A point M tried to make clear to L, as she did the whole friend thing with E. But L just won't listen. Now that she's the one in a relationship she's become quite smug about the whole boy/girl thing. It's not a good look on her.

At least we all got to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers at Big Day Out. Kicking arse Flea.

"Yeah, this song is dedicated to every kid who ever got picked last in gym class"

The awkward moment when you've aired your house out for two days...and you still can't get the vodka smell out.

The awkward moment when your brother arrives home and there is a strange guy sitting in the kitchen...and you don't recall even going home before you went to work.

The awkward moment when a taxi driver knows more intimate details about your life than any of your friends.

The awkward moment when you spend half an hour train trips bitching loudly about how you do or don't like anal sex...and the train is full of small children and elderly grandma types.

The awful moment when you spend every nice summer's day in the library (in between dry-heaving in the library toilets) instead of at the beach or in a park.

"Live and let live"

Now that M finally feels as though she has made peace with her E past, she can move on. She has a new plan to say yes to every date offered, even with people she thinks she doesn't like, because it's ridiculous to play into the idea that you have a type and you never know who your next boyfriend is going to be. Already she's been out with 2 guys, one an old friend who she bumped into after a few years and one guy she met at a first aid course for work. Both were attractive but not her usual type. They were both nice, funny and smart. M is starting to think it has been way too long since she had any male action. Maybe it's time she played the field a bit.

For J, the 'the one' drama continues. Her and A went to the opening of a new club, only to see 'the one' and his supposed ex-girlfriend hanging out together and looking suspiciously couple like. J found a mutual friend to question who told her they were back together. A quick check of 'the one''s facebook confirmed this, although it still sounds complicated and from other people's comments not everyone supports their relationship. J does. As far as she's concerned she's back off the hook. They hung out as friends a bit that night and 'the one' didn't seem weird at all. Maybe he has decided he really does love his girlfriend.

"It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?"

It's a new year and, naturally, nothing has changed. Does anyone believe it actually will? Oh year, for the first week of January the number of joggers on well-worn paths trebles (much to J's irritation as she runs 4 times a week year round) but by now everything is back to normal and everyone is buying up a lot of booze and lamb for the Australia Day BBQ.

Anyway, J has more to worry about than a few extra people jogging on her preferred route. She's still trying to dodge 'the one' is still ringing her constantly suggesting they 'hang out' which is not something she wants to do with him. He is posting sad, pathetic posts of facebook about how he misses his girlfriend (well ex) but he is still hitting on J. And we thought at the very least he was a nice guy. You just can't trust anyone. J's psychotic French grandma is also down for a visit. Naturally, all she does is abuse J about every aspect of her personality from her tattoos to her long hair and what she's doing with her life. It's no wonder J is holed up in her room smoking pot for most of every visit from her grandma. Her mother just seems to disappear for most of the time and her father is also hitting the wacko tobacco. Luckily, it's only a one week stay.

The alternative grandma is A's Betty White like grandma who decided to stay with A for a few days after G moved out (she's left for the great South American adventure, and managed to get her card skimmed on her first day in Brazil). She potters around the house making super spicy curries and yelling about how overrated Tomic is while watching the tennis before telling A she's off to the movies with a nice fellow she met at the RSL. Meanwhile A has been hooking up with a high-functioning autistic guy she met at a pub. It's working out surprisingly well because he can't show or read emotion, and neither can A. And they both don't really seem to care.

M has started pole-dancing classes as her New Year's Resolution and apparently it is a good workout. Unfortunately everyone there is female. Her and E spent NYE together with a few other friends and had an excellent night. M is thinking that maybe, after everything, they do actually make better friends after all. Well she says that, until he finds another girl. Which he will. E is never short of a girlfriend. Although M hasn't really been short a boyfriend for awhile now.

L spent NYE in a hotel room with her new boyfriend, much to everyone's disgust. She received a bunch of catcalling phone calls which she chose to ignore. She also bumped into her ex, secret admirer, a few days ago. He suggested they catch up. L told him that sounded good but didn't mention the new boyfriend. It's an odd situation for her. At the time, she really thought she cared about secret admirer even though she didn't want a serious relationship with him. Now she thinks maybe that was all in her head, because she's managed to overcome her commitment phobia with her new boyfriend. Sadly, she has become quite smug about it and now thinks she's the expert on overcoming commitment phobia and keeps telling A and J that one day they'll find the right guy. A pointed out that she's seeing a guy who has autism because she can't stand emotions and that every guy who falls in love with J makes her want to run the other way. Or put him 6 feet under. Maybe they are just a little bit more fucked up.

C has, thankfully, broken up with his boyfriend but is now in some bizzare threeway relationship with another guy and a girl. It might be a little too (semi)monogamous, but is so typically C to behave so strangely that it seems there's hope for him yet. Well, until he decides to settle in the suburbs and have 2.5 kids.

What we're doing this month...

Loving: old records on vinyl 
Listening to: Come of Age The Vaccines
Crushing on: Alex Pettyfer
Worshipping: Lena Dunham
Eating: leftover turkey and ham
Drinking: vanilla vodka with coke
Rocking: rusted bracelets, beaded bracelets and old friendship bands
Reading: Unholy Ghosts by Stacia Kane and the rest of the Downside Ghosts series
Failing: to get enough sleep