A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

"Staying here will only breed obsession, and I'm already obsessed"

Homewrecker? Whom, moi?

C has just returned from a vaction bike ride, where he naturally spent most of his time all but injecting alcohol into his veins and passed out in the back of some dude's truck. He didn't actually get on a bike which is probably a good thing not just for him but any other drivers or pedestrains on the road.

Of course, despite the fact that many people think he's gay when they first meet him, C is quite good with women. Extremely good. He met two very attractive girls on the first night and spent the night downing shots and flirting. He and one of the girls innocently kissed but that was all. The following day she confessed she had a boyfriend and C quickly backed away, claiming he doesn't do complicated. Instead he had sex with the other girl in the bushes. She used to be an acrobat and was a fan of casual sex so it was pretty much the perfect night in C's opinion. The next day the pair hung out as friends, nothing awkward. Meanwhile the first cornered C and told him she hoped they could be friends and not have things complicated. C eagerly agreed but one thing lead to another and they ended up having (fairly ordinary, in C's opinion) sex. They continued to hook up for the rest of the trip but C much preferred chatting and hanging with the acrobat.

After they got back from the trip the girl (not the acrobat, she was cool and they're now friends) tested C to tell him she'd broken up with her boyfriend. C decided not to respond as he wasn't sure how. He then noticed her facebook status: bad day, broke up with my boyfriend and the guy i'm in love with isn't talking to me. C started to freak out. When exactly did she fall 'in love' with him? What happened to uncomplicated? Fortunately the problem was solved by hitting delete and block on facebook. You little homewrecker C.

But C could never beat J for a ridiculous situation. If he's a homewrecker, she's managed to become a lesbian homewrecker. After a massive Thursday night J had a black memory and was surprised to wake up in bed next to a woman she'd never met before. Apparently the women was a lesbian (who'd been in a long-term 6 year relationship) and the pair had made out the night before. J couldn't recall that at all, but she was fairly drunk. Still, J is usually on the prowl for potential men and doesn't swing both ways. The woman was also a few years older and not very attractive. J send the woman home and continued her merry way...until she spotted the woman out at a club that night when she was with Druggie and Ronald McDonald. The woman came and flirted with J and they ended up getting in the same cab. They were supposed to be going their separate ways, but when the taxi got to J's place she got out as well. The cab was gone by the time J realised and she let the woman stay the night on her bedroom floor. When she woke up the woman was gone and J had a new text: thanks for making me walk the 14km home. J had a slight what-the-fuck freakout but figured the weird experience was over.

However later that day J received a phone call from the woman's partner saying that she though the woman was going to leave her for J. J started to get very nervous and tried to explain that she was straight and nothing even happened. She's starting to become convinced they never even kissed. Since then, she's received a few calls and messages from the woman wanting to catch up. J has followed C's move and deleted and blocked.

What, is it the season for crazy stalkers or something?