A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

"Let's get physical"

Gym haters unite!

Come on admit it, no one actually likes sweating it out on a treadmill surrounded by weird smelling dudes trying to check out your boobs or overly-muscled females with way too much time on their hands. Don't these people have jobs or, y'know, lives?? Well okay, maybe gym junkie enjoys it there, but she's friends with K so what does she know?

A has always had this thing about exercise. Unless it's 'incidental' forget about it, she'll be up at the local Maccas demanding quarter pounders. She'll throw a few punches in fights, or run away from cops and ticket inspectors but she won't do anything resembling organised exercise. And she's still tiny. Go figure.

J prefers an all natural version of exercise. As in, she runs almost every day and has for about the past seven years. She'll run with a hangover or after an angonising long day working. She doesn't work out in gyms though. She frequently goes to the pool to swim, but she usually swims in the indoor pool suring summer and the outdoor pool during winter to avoid actually having to be around other people. Solo exercise.

M has never been a huge gym fan either. She goes there sometimes for yoga or pilates classes but admits she hates going there simply to 'work out' and finds most of the classes kind of creepy and filled with middle-aged yuppies in thousand dollar tracksuits.

So where's all this leading? G and her recent horror gym stories.

G recently started going to the gym with one of her exercise bunny friends. This was her first mistake, as gym virgins should never go the gym with gym sluts because they have completely different expectations. The gym slut will know everyone there by first name, and want to spend an hour doing weights followed by intensive cardio and maybe a boxercise class. They have all these funny rules and etiquette the gym virgin is not yet familiar with and are not silent about pointing these out. The gym virgin will be exhausted and have aching muscles after two minutes on an exercise bike and will spent the rest of the 'gym session' pigging out on ice-cream at the gym cafe.

G, much to our admiration though, did not give up on the first sessions and kept going back with her friend in determination to get fit. Truth was, she just really liked their ice-cream. But the fifteen minutes on the exercise bike was at least something she could be proud of right? Anyway after a couple of weeks (like 5, and 10 gym sessions) G started to notice a creepy older man was always watching her while she was at the gym. You know, the fifty and balding and wearing a sweat-soaked grey singlet kind. It takes G a bit longer to realise a guy is looking at her than the rest of us because G basically hasn't been single since she was 16. Us single girls know when a guy is looking for some. Which is always, but that's beside the point. G mentioned said creepy guy to her friend who told her not to worry about it and that older men often perved on the younger girls working out at her gym because it was the only chance they got. G decided to brush it off.

That is, until G spotted the creepy old man walking up and down her street. And then later, shopping at her supermarket.

She started to freak out. Who was this guy? Was he suddenly stalking her?

It was one of the moments where G wished her boyfriend was twice his size and a bit more threatening and tough guy. Then she could have turned him loose on the older guy and solved all the problems. The way things are though she would have been better served setting A on him, or maybe K.

G stopped attending the gym and the guy stopped been seeing eveywhere she went.

End of story? Not quite. Two weeks later the police arrived at the gym (G's friend was there, G herself wasn't) and arrested the older man and took him away in handcuffs. One can only speculate what for...