A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Monday, January 31, 2011

"Du hast mich"

Melbourne is finally heating up. It's taken several months to get to acceptable beach/pool weather, but it's finally here. We're all enjoying a cocktail or two (or 10) with the duty free and mega cheap alcohol brought back to Australia by A on a trip to Vietnam and J on a seperate trip to Thailand and Singapore. Asiain holidays are fun, except for delays at airports. What is there to say? You get what you pay more.

J has taken up yoga classes with B, K and K's friend from work who's a total gym junkie. K has become addicted and obsessed with the gym in recent weeks. While A and J were overseas she was going at least once a day, sometimes twice. She now knows their entire staff by name. B has been going fairly often as well in her attempts to follow K around, but she can't quite commit to every day. J enjoyed the yogs workout. She has been running or swimming almost daily for years now but was happy to get different muscles working and felt like the class had done her really well. Unfortunately K seemed to be expecting a massive cardio workout. She wasn't impressed and started bagging out the class and the instructor. Fair enough, except that she did it in front of the instructor. Now J doesn't really want to go back, especially not with K who has been talking about how bad the class was ever since and how much better she fells after half an hour on various weight machines or biking or treadmilling. Maybe she should have tried Bikram yoga? Maybe J should have recruited M as a work-out buddy?

K has been desperately looking for a new job since she quit her waitressing position. Let's stress right now that when K quits something, she really quits something. In style. When quitting sahe cracked the shits, told all the chefs to go fuck themselves, threw food on the floor in front of customers and stormed out in the middle of a shift. Struggling to get a new job though K had to go crying back and beg for her old job back. Now everyone hates her and it's even worse than before but K has to pay for her gym membership somehow.

Yesterday was that day of the year. the Big Day Out. It was steaming hot (and everyone knows the mosh pit adds 10-20 degrees) and the line-up ran towards rock and crazed pits. A and J headed off together just the two of them because they fiigured no one else could handle it. Maybe that's because the pair decided to do seven hours straight heavy moshing without food, water or toilet breaks. Hard fucks. The day was as insane as always when A and J go concerting. Feirce fights, many a 'lost' backpack and hat, blood, sweat, tears and a few people getting carted away to the hospital. They ran into a friend of J's from work (though they couldn't keep up and didn't last long) who commented that A and J were 'wild' in the pit and that A was 'fucking scary, especially from a girl so small'. Just what A wants to hear before she dives into a bunch of older, scary-as-shit looking metalheads and rips their hair out from the roots. J nearly passed out on their way home which lead to an emergency stop at maccas for food and water. With stolen money, because nothing survived A and J's day that they brought along with them.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

"I got a molotov cocktail with a match to go. I smoke my cigarette with style."

A new year, a new lot of problems.

K has managed to develop glandular fever in the few days since 2011 rolled around, thus forcing her to postpone her trip up to Sydney. She's also managed to get herself involved in a fight with J. K, B and J were supposed to all go out to a local club one night but both B and J were working so they said they'd meet up with K later. K got there early and the place was 10 times as packed as usual, with a line spiraling around a corner. B and J did not want to have to wait. K claimed she'd get them in and she did- sort of. She got B in, while J was keeping the spot in the line jsut in case things didn't work out. Which, with K, they usually don't. K probably has the innate ability to talk her way into anything, but coupled with her crazy it usually ends up pissing people off instead of convincing them. Anyway no one told J what was going on, so she was stuck waiting outside while B and K got themselves some drinks. Phone calls went unanswered and J was not happy at all about being ditched. She sent K a text saying she was annoyed that they'd hardly seen each other lately and she didn't appreciate that kind of treatment. K called her selfish. Two days later K called her and left a voicemail saying 'you complain we never hang out but you haven's spoken to me since the other night' to which J responded 'I'm pissed off at you!" Since then J doesn't seem as angry at K, possibly because she thinks the glandular fever is perfect karma, but she's not speaking to B either. J's also been on another date with science geek which didn't seem to go anywhere, although that could possibly be because it was a day date. J is trying to keep her distance while still hanging out with him. The last thing J needs is another guy who thinks they are in a relationship like Justin did.

A is still non-sexual and enjoying the single life. She's back to being just friends with Hottie, they don't mention their one-time hook-up or the fact that he's engaged and everything's just like it was before. Except that they are both desperately looking for new jobs. And both claim it's because of the shithouse company and not their newfound awkwardness...yeah right! She's still drinking alcoholic amounts of..um...alcohol, but then aren't we all. Her and J have been doing plenty of clubbing lately and the other night were joined by a random girl neither of them had met before. They amused themselves dancing with her to Prisoner of Society (the living end) and then she wandered off to hook up with some other guy. He's friend approached A to hit on her opening with the line 'hey my friend just hooked up with your friend...' to which A and J burst and laughing and said that they'd never met the girl before and didn't even know her name. A was then hit on by the DJ who she naturally turned down because after V she's through woith DJs forever. And she's off men. Although it's amazing how much male attention you seem to get when you don't actually want any.

K has confessed to being slightly concerned about the amount of alcohol and cigarettes we all seem to be going through. But who cares? January is holiday month and we're all planning on stocking up duty free at the airport.

Monday, January 3, 2011



So, New Year's Eve. Where to begin?

K had to work NYE this year, which meant no drinking and no partying for her. She didn't mind so much though because since quitting her job as a waitress she's had pretty much no money and was desperate for the cash. Plus, she didn't really have any money to actually spend on NYE. In the end, she had quite an enjoyable time. Making announcements and just generally being a bossy boots are things K is great at. Plus it's the second year in a row she hasn't been drinking on the biggest drinking holiday of the year after last year she was taking about a thousand different antibiotics and struggled to get out of bed. All in all, K was pretty pleased how things worked out. It was more fun than waitressing and she was earning twice as much per hour as she would have there. Now if she could only find a more permanent job. Not waitressing though, she's sick of up-themselves chefs and working with other bitches.

Since the weather was the nicest it has been...well, since last February actually, B headed down to the beach with T and a few family friends. They spent the day at the beach and riding carnival rides and the night downing jaga and making drunk sand angels. They managed to bump into C, who was also partying at the beach with several of his friends. At first it was slightly awkward because B doesn't really know C that well but alcohol makes everyone your best friend. C was setting off more than a few of his own fireworks, which B and T were more than happy to join in on. Luckily no one blew anyone's fingers off. C managed to cut himself on a glass bottle, and since there was no band-aids bandaged it up with a vodka cruiser label. Classy. One of T's friends smashed her iphone but T can't remember who exactly it was, and naturally the next morning everyone was denying it. B suspects it may have been T herself who dropped it, but she'd never tell her big sister that.

A, J and M headed off to one of the 3-day music festivals with a few other random friends. The world's lightest packers they essentiall brought vodka, a sleeping bag and a tent for the three of them. Luckily their other friends had brought along food, ice, chairs, a shadecloth and other essentials. The three of them spent the next day in a blur of mosh pits, alcohol and passing out on the grass. A got into several mosh pit fights, giving two guys bloody noses while receiving a large gash on her neck and also managed to get sunburnt everywhere. After sculling half a bottle of vodka on NYE on an empty stomach she passed out in another not-so-happy camper's paddling pool. J punched out a guy who tried to feel her up during an electro pop song. She then got high and started climing up on people's cars and trucks, dancing and screaming wildly. J and A played a game to see how many of other people's tents they could destroy, a game M did not want to be involved in. Instead she spen most of the time at the beach or sitting in the sun to quietly enjoy the music with a beer. G was also at the music festival, and got into a screaming match with J after she thought J was hitting on her boyfriend. J told her the boyfriend was ugly as a horse and she'd never go that.

Like H, L has all but disappeared. Whenever anyone tries to invite her anywhere lately it seems she is too busy. There are plenty of suspicians as to why, but none solid. Friendships these days seem to have been reduced to a 'happy christmas' text.

Here's hoping 2011 will be as exciting and fun as 2010, if without the friendship drama.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

"Five golden rings"

Christmas is a time for family, a time for celebration and turkey and relaxing and watching the cricket (well, that's Boxing Day) and maybe getting a few bargains at the sales...right? Well that, but it's also a booze-a-thon of non-stop alcohol and partying. L might have a religious holiday complete with trips to church and conversations about baby Jesus, but for the rest of us atheists the only thing we hear is: long weekend.

Perhaps not surprisingly, A comes from a family of alcoholics. Alone they are bad enough, but get them together and there is no bin in the world large enough for the empty bottles. Her uncle, several cousins and grandma all came to stay at the family home for the holidays, each bringing several bottles of red and whiskey to contribute to the celebration. Christmas Eve began with glasses of white wine with octogenarians and her father out for a boozey breakfast. The Uncle played chauffeur, running around picking everyone up who were too drunk too drive. A's father was drinking from 8am until 1am the next morning, stopping only for a nap (passed out) just before dinner. Her cousins spent the day at the pub. Her mother was 'lunching' which meant consuming enough brandy-and-ginger-ale to knock a 200kg man out. Dinner was beer, red wine and several bottles of grapa. Strong stuff. J then joined A, her cousin and her brother drinking vodka in the park. It wasn't even Christmas Day yet. A's father cracked open his first beer at 9am, A made pina coladas and everyone was drunk before the turkey was cooked. The family also happens to eat like a pack of horses, and all passed out around 4pm from food and alcohol hangovers. Boxing Day they all headed out for Chinese food and ended up at the pub, drinking beer and talking (screaming arguments) footy. It isn't even football season.

J is a seasoned drinker, but even she couldn't keep up with A's family. Christmas Eve she joined the drinking in the park but after downing a few too much straight vodka had to be carried home be A's tall, strong and overly egocentric cousin. He was forced to drag her over train tracks when J slumped passed out in his arms. She woke up in time for A to tuck her into bed, but was up hunting for a glass of water an hour later. Unable to stand properly, she managed to knock down her entire shelf. Perfume and tequila bottles smashed and showed glass all over her while the shelf pinned her to the ground. Her parents came running in to discover their passed out daughter trapped under a shelf and shattered glass. J received more than a few bruises and cuts. She awoke in the spare room disorientated and unbelievably hungover. She spent the day sneaking off to the bathroom to throw up while her grandma tut-tutted and her parents glared and her cousins sniggered. For the second year in a row, J had ruined Christmas. Last year on Christmas Eve her mother discovered her tattoo (which she'd already had for nearly a year- and it wasn't even the big one) and refused to talk to her the entire day.

B and K had a very jolly family Christmas, as to be expected in a family like theirs. This year they opted for seafood themed, which was an expensive choice considering the nearly thirty cousins, their partners (and parents) and, in some cases their children. B had an awkward moment when one of her aunts asked her where R was, since she'd bought him to Christmas the previous year. In a family like theirs, dates are only brought if they are marriage material. In fact, there is not a single divorce in B and K's entire extended family. The only people that remarry are those that lose their partners in death, and generally only when the partner died quite young. So it was a pretty big deal for her to bring R, and an even bigger deal that he wasn't there the following year. Of course K gleefully informed the family that R and B were so totally over and he'd left the country. At least there was a chocolate fondue fountain this year.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

What we're doing this month...

Loving: T2's choc chip chai tea...iced of course
Listening to: The Strokes
Crushing on: Chace Crawford
Worshipping: NYE music festivals
Eating: frozen yoghurt
Drinking: Malibu's new ranch of pre-mixed drinks
Rocking: pastel hair
Reading: Out by Natsue Kirino, an excellent Japanese novel about just how far people will go...
Failing: to get out of bed before midday and to avoid sunburn

Happy New Year!!