A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

How we're dealing with the mid-semester slump:

A: instead of a) going to class or b) writing up her lab report, A booked an appointment with her hairdresser to dye her hair bright blue. Unable to wait the two days until her appointment, A attempted to dye it at home. It's now half orange and half blue and a big mess.
J: skipped a day of work to get a tattoo of a giant scorpion on her back. When the tattooist asked her what she wanted she described it as 'a big, scorpion, really black and evil looking, starting on my back and wrapping around my arm.' She's now thinking about getting a snake as well.
B: hasn't attended classes all week. Starting hitting on the guy who sells her her train tickets at the corner milk bar. She now has to make trips to the Connex shop. Oh wait, it's 'metro' now isn't it??
H: Rumour has it, H has dropped out. Looks like she's found a way to fix the mid-semester slump for good.
L: Trying to get on a tram this morning, the tram driver shut the door on her and she couldn't get on. She waved at him to reopen the door but he just smirked and drove off. L, usually mild-mannered, snapped and began screaming at him and chasing the tram down the street. 10 minutes later she was collapsed on the road and was told by police to stop holding up the traffic.
K: K, strange as usual, actually loves university and isn't going through a mid-semester slump. Then again, he choice of boyfriend might signal a slump attitude hidden deep in her subconcious.

Monday, March 29, 2010

"Christ! Does it always have to be about them? Just give me a call when you're ready to talk about something besides men" Miranda in Sex and the City

With the mid-semester slump hitting us a week earlier than expected, everyone is starting to freak out a little. The feeling of frustrated helplessness that occurs at this point in the semester is back, with all of us daydreaming of the beach and staying in bed rather than facing the day. Who wants to go to class when it's raining? Who wants to sit on-line tests or read textbooks or write essays even if they're due that day? Not us. So rugged up in our brand new scarfs and leather jackets, and armed with mint-flavoured coffee (creme de menthe) we're ready to party.

H attended uni guy's house party which turned out to be one of the wildest parties she'd been to in like a week. She took along E, because she figured it would be safe to hang around with him now that K has a new boyfriend. The party was one of those ones where no one really needed to drink because everyone was on ice or ecstasy or whatever their drug of choice happened to be. There were pills everywhere and pretty soon E and this other chick were having sex in the corner in fron of everyone, not that anyone seemed particularly bothered. H decided to hang out in the garden where someone had started a huge bonfire and someone was apparently burning dead bird carcasses. Because you know, even that smell is better than watching some guys attempt to shuffle. That was about the last thing she remembers until waking up in a KFC, missing half her clothes and with a new nose piercing. Later someone told her she'd hooked up with one of uni guy's mates who looks like Alice Cooper. As for E, he's going to be spending the next week waiting for the results of an STI check. Nasty.
K went out with end-of-the-train-line and spent the night at his house. She insisted on sleeping on the couch and he wasn't too happy. She asked him point-blank if he only wanted her for sex. His reply? "I want sex but it's not all I want. I mean you're amazing, how could I not want to have sex with you?" They're supposed to be going out on Wednesday but K is now worrying that their relationship is going too fast, physically not emotionally. After all "No one wants to marry thr girl who sleeps with them in 2 weeks". We doubt that's actually true but anyway...
A and J went concerting. They met a pair of what they thought were cool Italian guys and ended up going for drinks afterwoods. One beer later and it was clear they weren't going anywhere but home. When a guy tries to feel you up in front of his friend and your friend when you've only known him an hour and only had one drink it spells sleaze and trouble. A and J called it a night then and there.
T and B ended up staying at home to watch the wog boy. T also invited R, so B had to put up with him for the night. She doesn't have the balls to tell her sister she doesn't want to see R anymore. Of course, she also doesn't have the guts to tell R she wants him out of the house.
L had a family reunion to attend. She didn't drink and didn't meet anyone fun.
J, A, H, L, C, E, P and S all got together for expresso martinis at H's place. H's roomate was there as well, but didn't really join in the fun. He's a bit of a recluse and tends to stay in his room smoking pot. This suits H, who doesn't have the time or the personality to deal with the same person every day. They ended up playing "I never..." the drinking game with apple pie shots (we do cinnamon sprinkled on tongue followed by a shot of vodka and a shot of apple juice). The game goes something like saying "I never (something, like say, had sex on a playground)" and then whoever has done it has a drink. Needless to say everyone got very drunk rather quickly, especially S who's a lightweight. It also got rather awkward on "I've never wanted to have sex with someone I work with" and S drinks while looking straight at J. That was game over because J is trying to avoid sleeping with S. P then dragged everyone off to a gay bar where there was dancing, but C wasn't happy because everyone was hitting on him. E wasn't happy because no one was hitting on him, but really he'd had enough action for the weekend hadn't he?
There are only two seasons we care about: summer and footy season. This weekend, the footy was back, so A, B and K headed off to one game while H and L headed off to the pub to watch another. Going to the footy is an excellent experience, because it's one of the places you can scream out your aggression and no one can tell you off for it. It's one of the best places you yell out the frustration from the mid-semester slump. At the footy, we really are one of the boys, complete with overpriced beer and mear pies. Or, in K's case, chocolate biscuits and potato chips. What kind of Australian doesn't like meat pies?
After the game A,B, K joined J (who was working) for Brandy Alexanders and to gossip about K and end-of-the-train-line. Unfortunately, B kept bringing up R. Because J wasn't pissed off enough at her to begin with. Before J could even tell her off though, A got in. "B we are so sick of talking about R. It's done. It's over. We want to talk about K's new boyfriend now." B got insulted and walked off. No one chased after her, especially not J. In fact, she hadn't uttered a word to B all night. B still hasn't apologised to J about the texting incident. She probably never will. The night ended shortly after that.

Now it's Monday and back to uni. One more week until Easter Break. It's the only thing keeping us together. That and our mint-flavoured coffee.

Friday, March 26, 2010

"I didn't know it was asshole day at the Valmont house"- Sebastian in Cruel Intentions

What kind of person is 'in a relationship' on facebook without telling their friends first? There's really only one possible answer. K, of course.

Last week she met this guy at a club. Not a guy she'd ever met before, not even a mutual friend. Just some random. They hooked up, fair enough. That's what randoms are for. K, being K, made sure he got her number and got his number and started calling and texting him the second she got away from him. This is her usual strategy. Usually she scares guys off by being too clingy and intense straight away. But apparently this guy was really desperate to get laid. In the past week they've been on two dates. One trip to the movies and one afternoon spent at his house (at the very last stop on the train line-it should serve as a warning to all city folk such as us that no one cool lives at the end of the train line) without sex because he was apparently 'too big'. That could potentially mean he thinks he's top shit and she's not putting out yet, but that's the excuse they're using.

This went on for a week. She didn't tell anyone about him. Not even B, her twin sister and flatmate. Not even J, who she tells everything. Then all of a sudden a post pops up on facebook. 'K is now in a relationship with end-of-the-train-line.' Everyone was pretty much like 'wait-what?!' No one is in a relationship on facebook without everyone already knowing. It's just a confirmation of what everyone has known for months but it's about time it's made facebook-official. Even B and R were never actually a couple on facebook, and they were talking about getting married. They lived together. Of course, look where that ended up...Still, facebook should not be where you announce your relationship/engagment/pregnancy/whatever. It's just where you confirm it. Clearly, K doesn't get this.

There is no logical reason why K didn't tell anyone about her new boyfriend but then, since when is K logical? And end-of-the-train-line isn't exactly the world's greatest catch. He's short and kinda odd looking. He's into drugs and smoking (which, ironically K hates). But perhaps most importantly, he's kinda an arsehole.

On their second date he informed K he expected her to sleep with him within a month or he would dump her. This is the kind of thing you just don't say to girls, even if you're thinking it. He does get points for being honest but it still makes him a jerk. He also told K he had trust issues, in that he can't trust girls until he's slept with them. That's obviously just a ploy to get her into bed.

The scary thing is, K doesn't have trust issues. She'll just trust anyone straight away. K is in love with the idea of love. She wants a boyfriend so badly and she moves at warp speed throughout her relationships. She tells guys she loves them after 2 weeks. She expects monogamy after the first date. She expects a marriage proposal after sex, which is probably why she's never actually had sex, despite being happy about getting felt up by five different guys in a night. K is also convicinced that end-of-the-train-line is a great guy even though the signs point to him being a wanker who just wants to get into her pants. He is not a nice guy. He is arrogant and breaks the law and doesn't appear to have any ambition in life. He is certainly not 'the one'. He doesn't love her. They have nothing in common. Literally. They don't share a taste in music, an outlook on life, any friends, any values or even a suburb. But she could fall in love with him and he will break her heart. You need distance at the beginning of a relationship. You need...sanity.

Good luck, K.


In other news, J and B are in a bitchfight. During pizza and beer last night an annoying guy started hitting on B. Because she likes to try and make R jealous, she texted him about said guy being really full-on and what should she do about it. He replyed back 'just get J to deal with it. she'll know what to do, she's a slut'. B didn't actually tell J about said text, just pretended it didn't happen. Later, when J was using B's phone to call someone she found the text and was pissed off.

Where does R get off? He hardly knows J and her sex life is none of his buisness! Let's face it. When you reach a certain age and you like sex but you don't have a stable significant other, you rack up partners. You have one-night-stands. As long as you're comfortable and happy about your choices no one else should judge you for it. Just because was with a girl from the age of 16 to 23 and then was with B and never had a chance with anyone else doesn't mean his is the only way to live or even the right way. It's simply his way. It's easy to hate people who get up on their high horse and judge people just because they aren't the same. Being single is a perfectly acceptable way to live. Not all of us want the white picket fence and the dozen kids and to be with the same person our entire lives.

That's what this blog is about. Being young and being free and drinking and fucking up and partying and having a good time and not settling and not being tied down.

But the worst thing is that B didn't even try to defend J. She said nothing to R then, and she's still said nothing to R. She told J she didn't think she was a slut and R was a tool but that's it. By not telling R off she's condoning his behaviour. She's agreeing with it. It shouldn't even be a question. It shouldn't be something you have to think about. It's reflex. It's 'no, she's not a slut (or whatever it happens to be: bitch/nerd/ugly etc) she's a fucking awesome person and you're an arsehole'. But B will never tell R off. So J won't speak to her. And when the choice is between J and R, B will always choose R. It's been months and she still can't get over him. He's all she talks about and thinks about. Seriously, move on.

Good luck, B.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

"You're one...just one step in front of me" Gyroscope- OK

Is uni-guy stalking A? After spending four hours at uni yesterday (attending 3 hours of classes...when she was timetabled for 5) she managed to see him not once, not twice but six times. He was sitting right behind her on the tram. He was smirking at her from the coffee shop as she ran to class. She ran into him as she was leaving class. He was sitting only a few feet away from her while she ate lunch. After she passed him in a corridoor he started following her all the way to a lecture theatre. Then he was sitting right in front of her during the lecture. What on earth is going on? A, being A, decided to confront him and asked him why he was following her around. After all, she'd never actually spoken to him before and had tended to actually avoid him following H acting like his friend when she didn't actually know him. The response? "I guess it was just a coincidence. But aren't you V's girlfriend?" V's girlfriend?? Not exactly the title A wants. In fact pretty much the last thing she ever wants to hear. Looks like she's going to be off V and in the process of hating him for awhile yet. No dinner for you A.

L has been having problems with the neighbourhood dog lately. Not a pitbull or a rottweiler like you might expect, but a little fluffy maltese puppy. With very sharp teeth. On both Monday and Tuesday the dog chased her all the way down the street to the tram stop, leaving L too afraid to leave her house. Today she decided to walk a different way, only to be stung by a rogue bee when she fell into a bush. It's just not L's week. She's decided she's going to stay home and study this weekend, all the better to not get eaten by a dog.

Last night J went out with P and they got up to their usual antics. P has a boyfriend but that doesn't make him any less wild. Half-price margaritas and tacos can make anyone a little crazy. They club-hopped to three different places before ending up in a salsa dance club. After they heated up the dance floor everyone was convinced they were a couple which didn't make J too happy because none of the guys were hitting on her. On the maccas run home she was so disappointed that the guys weren't paying her any attention that she started flirting with the guy who served her. As P put it bluntly "no one fucks the maccas guy". J was ashamed, she usually has much better taste than that. Her week got considerably worse when her favourite bartender decided to go shopping in the store where she works...with his girlfriend. The girlfriend spent an hour looking at clothes and asking 'does my butt look big in this' while J cringed and hid behind half unpacked boxes of stock. It doesn't seem to be her week either. is bad luck contagious?

As for B, R is back. He disappeared for a week but it turns out he was in Tasmania doing some walks (well really, what else is there to do there?) and now he has returned. He wants to move back in with B and K (well who wouldn't? Their place is a good size and they don't make him pay rent) and has apologised for making B feel bad. What does that even mean? R explained how he wanted to remain friends and blah blah blah. Essentially he talked her in to letting him live with her again. Does she never learn? K hasn't found out yet, but she will and there's going to be hell to pay. K doesn't want R in her, or B's life. Who can blame her? K had a little crush on R before he and B got together. It was actually more intense than your average crush (then again, it always is with K, she thinks every guy is her soul mate) but she stopped talking about it when B and R got together. She never seemed that happy about their relationship (jealousy) but was even less happy when they broke up. After all the effort H went to in getting rid of him it is especially irritating to have him back like nothing ever happened.

G invited N on a double date with her boyfriend and one of his friends. This was bound to end badly. G's boyfriend's friend is kind of a loser. H went on out on two dates with him last year and summed it up "He doesn't go to uni, he doesn't work and appears to have no ambitions. What's the point? He isn't even good in bed." In addition, N isn't exactly great at dating. She's lovely, but very shy and especially around guys. Since the double date was dinner and required talking it was pretty much a freefall into hell. Since G hates an awkward silence, she spent most of the night desperatly grabbing at straws ('you need to breathe? well so does N!') while everyone else knew that the only way to get out of such a disaster was to cut your losses and go home.

In the end, it really isn't anyone's week is it?

Monday, March 22, 2010

"Bizzare, what some men find attractive" - Natasha in Bridget Jones' Diary

Today A went out for dinner with V. We probably wouldn't have even known about it had it not been for later occurances, since A often tries to hide her private life. Well, with V anyway. It's probably due to the love/hate on/off nature of their non-relationship. On Saturday she was talking about 'flattening him like a pancake' and not in a good way. Now shes's...well whatever.

A claimed the only reason she went out for dinner with V was because she was hungry and he asked her (apparently out of the blue). A has been playing what we've been referring to as a 'lovegame' lately (lady gaga anyone?) where she can only eat dinner if a guy takes her out to eat. It's actually partly a diet, an idea we stole from Bridget Jones. Whether it's the book or the movie no one can remember but there's this scene where Daniel Cleaver suggests she lose weight by only eating on dates. This way she'll get thin and get more dates...some kind of circular format. We thought it'd be amusing to try on A since she's so obsessed with food. It's been saving her money but driving her crazy and we have to agree that after Saturday night it was probably only starvation that got A to accept dinner from V.

H has been building a pretend friendship with a guy who goes to uni with A and L. He also happens to be a friend of V's because, well, V knows everyone. H is doing it purely to amuse herself. Basically whenever she sees the guy, let's call him uni guy, she yells out his name and starts waving wildly as if she knows him. It's quite hilarious as he, usually drunk, tries to figure out where he knows her from. She also has quick chats with him every now and then, usually consisting of a 'hey how are you' or 'hows uni?'. The only term that can accurately describe the expression on uni guy's face when he sees her is 'spooked'. Well, a few days ago H continued along her merry way by adding him on facebook. This way she figured she could take their pretend friendship to new levels which of course means new levels of amusement. Only he rejected her. H wasn't happy and made it her mission to find out why. She decided to sacrifice their pretend friendship and told him the truth (H always has been very blunt) about how she was using him to get a laugh but why didn't he add her on facebook? The reason? Noting V was a mutual friend uni guy asked V who the hell H was. His answer? Something along the lines of
"Christ, don't add her! She's a nutcase. That whole group is fucking crazy!"
Huh. Thanks, V.

So on their 'dinner date' A couldn't help but ask why he was paying them all out to practical strangers. After all there's no way we're actually crazy...right? A is not exactly the most subtle person (rather like H) so she was rather upfront in her delivery. "Why the hell are you and uni guy bitching about all of us and calling us psycho-stalker-bitches? We're not fucking crazy!" Which led to V noting that we aren't exactly completely sane and sitiuations that we manage to get ourselves into. Like the time A got drunk, threw up on a bus and got into a fight with a group of school kids. At 2pm...Or the time J was fired from her job as a waitress for having sex with a chef and causing him to burn someone's chicken. Or the time H went skinny dipping with the son of our high school principal...and got caught. Or the time B ended up on a drug bust with people who would later go on to star in Underbelly. Or the time K stalked a guy...like every week. Okay so we're not completely sane. What about V? He tried to skateboard off the roof of a three-story building once. And once he got pulled over by the cops for driving recklessly because some chick was giving him head.

Maybe sometimes honestly isn't the best policy...But let's just say V at least made it up to A for calling us crazy. And H got a call from uni guy inviting her to a party on the weekend. So maybe we are crazy. But we have fun with it.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

"Typical. Criminal. What you got? Bitten by black Friday" Grinspoon- Black Friday

Wednesday has become concerting night whenever our favourite bands are in town, which is pretty much every week since we like so many bands. Last week only A and J made it out though due to some frantic study for Thursday due dates. A and J don't care too much about due dates, there's always a party to take priority. They make a good concerting team because they do well at surviving mosh pits together. If L and K don't have a front bar to hold on to, they find themselves drifting backwards faster than Ian Thorpe swims. H and G are a bit better but when things get rough they tend to disappear under a crowd of overgrown men. And B? She's always the one standing behind the pack of people screaming and jumping. A and J always manage to hold their own. A has been known to bite people in the arm while J always manages to end up in front of the sleazy old man grinding into her. How does she get herself into these situations? She always manages to get out of it somehow though. Usually by convincing another (more attractive) guy to act as her possessive boyfriend and tell the sleaze off...with a fist. It was a big night that resulted in several bruises (none to A), J waking up in a strangers bed, and a rush to 10am classes on Thursday morning.
Vodka, lime and soda; cheap wine; and local beers
In the lives of A, J, B, H and L Thursday marks the end of the uni week (never mind most of them have lectures early Friday) and cheap drinks night. Of course H is so low on money these days (now she only has one job, quote 'pushing shit around' whatever that means) she's sneaking plastic bottles of wine into even the cheapest pubs. After a few too many drinks H decided to trash the bathroom, flooding the sinks and ripping all the posters off the walls. J stole one of the curtains. A abused the DJ. And B? She spent the night smoking and flirting with the guy she met at the same place a week earlier, basically having the same conversation and the same cigarettes. Luckily his friend who was into J wasn't present because she was blatently not interested. B seemes particularly nervous about her new guy, perhaps because no one seemed to really approve. Perhaps that's also why she's pretending not to be interested. There are times when you look at a guy hitting on a girl and go 'seriously? he has no chance, she's a 10 and he's a 5'. That's how it is with B and this guy. Except B has a tendancy to be interested in any guy who's interested in her (kinda like twin sister K that way) so he might just get lucky. As long as he stays away from her friends' disapproving glares.
Wet pussy shots and rum and cokes
B and K headed off to one of K's friends' birthday party. They went to a new place which turned out to be very fun for them. Well, B anyway. K chose to wear sky-high heels which never works for her. She always puts them on and changes her mind two seconds later when her feet start aching and puts on flats. She can't handle heels which would be fine if she'd just admit it. But she pretends she'll be okay and spends the entire night whining about her sore sore feet. B had a blast meeting new people and stealing a hat and a pair of sunglasses. K fell over and ended up with a bruised butt.
Skittles vodka and lemonade, pomegranate vodka and passionfruit, red wine
After B's last minute bail, it was A, J, L, H and C who headed out to a house party followed by a club. The house party was a good time. There were plenty of hot guys and J was trying to choose one for the night. H decided to start a dance competition and showed off some of the break-dancing moves she's been learning off a co-worker. C hooked up with some other guy's girlfriend and got involved in a fist fight, so everyone had to leave. C went home to rest his cuts while the other four went to this popular new place in the city only to discover the night's DJ was V. A few shots later and it wasn't such a big deal, especially with the frequent trips outside for a cigarette. Later, as they were on the search for a 4am souvlaki the four of them ran into V in the street. He was clearly on something, lookinf suspiciously like cocaine but who can afford that? He attempted to hug everyone but was clearly rejected by A, a long-time drug hater (odd really considering the rest of her attitude. then again she does always love to be control and drugs send her out of control. let's just call her a control freak).
"Don't fucking touch me!"
H hugged him to be polite, J kissed him on the cheek because that's what she does and L stood there standing still not wanting to touch him but being too shy to refuse. Harden the fuck up L!
Lucky the souvlakis were good.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"She never loved me why would anyone?" The Vines- Get Free

Monday nights hitting the town? Sure, why not?

J and K decided to enjoy a night out just the two of them because J didn't want to have to see S, who'd invited her over for a DVD night, and K didn't want to meet up with the 'Australian' guy with the kiwi accent. Odd for K, who usually jumps at the chance to see any guy who calls her thinking that the fact that he knows how to write a text message makes up for other flaws such as crap personality or looks.

Either way they went local, crashing what turned out to be some guy's birthday party with all his friends. It was at a club/pub so it wasn't technically gatecrashing but it was practically just them and the birthday group nonetheless. Not that they realised until the end of the night.

J was in a hook-up rather than dance move so she took her cigarettes and her tequila and went and sat in the beer garden. Surprisingly K didn't crack the shits as she does whenever B whips out the smokes. Maybe it's just her sister smoking she doesn't like. J had her eye on a hot guy in a tartan shirt but he disappeared so she found another guy, not quite as good-looking but good-looking enough, to fuse lips and busy hands with. He turned out to be a crap kisser so J moved on to another guy she quite liked and who offered her a light. While she was making out with him she saw tartan shirt guy laughing at her from accross the room. Turns out he, the guy she was currently kissing and her previous guy were all friends and part olf the birthday group! Cringe. She wasn't exactly eager to do anything after that. K had found a fun guy but he had to go home earlier so she was left to her own devices. A few wet pussy shots later (wet pussy shots should really be called 'pussy' shots since there doesn't appear to be any alcohol in them. they're too easy to drink for shots, don't taste like booze and once H had 10 and was still sober for the next hour) she was making out with a different guy when her phone started buzzing with text messages. One of the friends of the first guy she'd hooked up with (they were evidently part of the birthday crew) had seen her with the new guy and rang him. He was apparently pissed off ands started sending her texts calling her a slut. Come on mate, you went home. That's your problem. She doesn't owe you anything.

Meanwhile R has finally moved out of B and K's place. Or rather, been kicked out. Not that B had anything to do with it. Eventually it was up to H to get rid of him, since B was too spineless to do it herself. H, being perfectly bitchy and upfront about it, told R he had 24 hours to evecuate the premises. When he didn't she arranged to change the locks, and, while he was out, packed all his stuff up in cliche black rubbish bags and left them on the street. He found everything a few hours later, including his ipod that had been wiped of all his beloved The Beatles music. He tried to call B, but H knew better and had stolen her phone for the occasion. The only problem now is that T, B's big sister, has become good friends with R and has started inviting him to all their family events. Shouldn't she be on B's side? She's her big sister she's supposed to be protecting her. Either way it's unlikely R will ever be truely out of B's life. Well, until he returns home to Scotland. And even then that's no guarantee. Best to keep it all out of the family sometimes.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

"Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it makes it complicated" -Amanda in The Holiday

The past weekend has been a bit of a blur. A, L and K have all been on uni camp. A and L's was pretty much a weekend long bender, complete with the consumption of bottles of pomegranate flavoured vodka and strawberry liquor and waking up in the beds of the taboo first-year student. K, on the other hand, had an 'educational' boot camp, complete with obstacle course and alcohol ban.

Then there's J and S. A quick recap on their history: friends with chemistry, they met at work and spent week after week flirting without crossing any real boundaries. At a house party, J slept with S's best mate and he was crushed. He was also really pissed at J and they didn't speak for a few weeks. Then they went the just friends route for awhile which worked well for them. But now they are returning to the chemistry/flirting territory.

There's nothing wrong with a little flirtation between friends. Everyone has a friend of the opposite sex they constantly flirt with and it doesn't mean anything. But there are boundaries that just shouldn't be crosses. Especially when you work together.

S has been showing a lot of dangerous signs
  • He hasn't gotten laid in awhile
  • He visits J at work on his days off and even waits an hour outside while she and P are closing (P hates S and refuses to allow him in the store when he's not actually working and takes as long as possible to cash up when he's waiting) so he can walk her to the train station.
  • He keeps suggesting they go out drinking, just the two of them
  • He constantly suggests she sleep over at his house
  • He thinks she's easy due to her past behaviour
  • They walk about sex constantly and he makes no effort to hide the fact that it turns him on
  • He's a guy

As for J she doesn't exactly have a lot of self-control and gets herself into some...um...interesting situations. Hence fucking his best mate in the first place. She doesn't want to sleep with him, but suspects if he makes a move she'll just go along with it. And if she does it's going to create a multitude of problems. Chances are it'll be either awkward (*friendship over*) and uncomfortable, or they'll become fuck buddies. J will probably continue her sexual escapades with other guys which will lead to jealousy on his part because he's just generally a possessive/jealous guy (*friendship over*). They'll never end up in an actual relationship because J is...well, J. In addition K will be pissed off because she has a thing for S even though they haven't met. She's convinced he is her soul mate. Thank god they haven't met.

It can never end well when friends sleep together. In life there are people you have sex with and people you don't. Mix them together and you basically just make a mess.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school." -Albert Einstein

You aren't really a uni student unless you have a stash of medicated throat lozenges at the bottom of your bag.

B isn't quite a real uni student yet. Overheard saying while she was in Sydney, "Do you think I should come back early on Monday? I have lectures and I don't want to miss them. I could fly back early at a cost of $100. What do you think?" I mean really. Lectures aren't even compulsory and they're almost always online anyway. And for an EXTRA hundred dollars? It's not even a question really. Considering that the combined number of hopurs A and J attended last year would be less than a first-year part-time arts students (J studies science, A a double degree) and the marks they acheieved it's fairly obvious class attendence is a lesser neccessary than bar night attendence. She'll soon learn.

K is currently on her uni camp. An oddity as the camp appears to be organised for actual educational purposes and not an excuse for excessive alcohol consumption. It was also mandatory. What sort of instituion does K go to anyway? Probably the sort of place that's perfect for K as she's an oddity anyway.

A has already skipped approximately half her lectures already although only 2 tutorials. Sometimes she had legitimate reasons for them, like attending the various number of welcome to uni BBQs to keep her feeling full. Sometimes she just couldn't be bothered getting out of bed. Honestly. You'd think she'd get better in second year.

J is usually found smoking on the lawn, not in her lab classes, speaking Spanish with the hot guys from her French class.

H is studying part-time this year, possibly so she can work two jobs and pay the rent on her new manshion-sized apartment. Oddly, she's actually working harder than she was this time last year when she was there full-time. Perhaps H has matured. Perhaps she's really trying to impress her cute (and surprisingly young) chemistry tutor.

As for L, she's really always been a good student. She always has her textbooks by the end of the first week and is never found sneaking around the chem labs looking for explosives.

Despite their differences in uni-student-style they've all managed to fall ill in the last two weeks. Coughs, tissues, aching throats...it's March again and time for some bourbon, straight up. Best medicine there is.

Monday, March 8, 2010

"Psychosomatic addict insane" The Prodigy- Breathe

Labour Day. Otherwise known as no public holiday for unfortunate university students who have to struggle through classes while their parents, who supposedly work full-time, go on wine benders.

The weekend has been an interesting one, characterised by a freak storm that flooded half the city and flattened houses and cars with hail the size of tennis balls. This meant no public transport, which is more than a slight annoyance for a group of twenty-somethings who don't drive (we live in the city okay! we actually don't need to drive, everywhere worth going is a walkable distance or a 5 buck cab fare. besides, H has a car. not that she drives us anywhere). It also meant that pretty much all of the usual hang-outs were flooded and not suitable for human presence. Excellent. This equalled the first Saturday night spent at home in at least a year, drinking mugs of tea (chai or earl grey) and discovering that Foxtel was offering the movie channels for free this week.

B and K (and R) were lucky to miss the wacky weather as they were making their more-frequently-than-annual trip to Sydney. It should have been a weekend of drinking and debauchery and...well...it was. B and K remember little of it thanks to the bottles of tequila and vodka they consumed. A slab of UDL doesn't go far when B's around. Perhaps surprisingly, K was up for a good time and never once brought the mood down. She even found a cute Sydney guy willing to take her number. He hasn't called yet and she's none too pleased but really. You have to give them at least 3 days before you even consider checking your phone. B's trip was less pleasent although just as memorable. No one had informed the Sydney friends that B and R had broken up and they were forced to share a room together. B spent the weekend trying to ignore R, but soon ended up in a massive fight with him. She told him in no uncertain terms that she wanted him out of her life, and expecially out of her house once they got home. Because he seems to have an odd way of dealing with confrontation, R ignored the argument and simply switched rooms with K. B was furious at his attempt to brush the problem away and spent most of the trip either seething silently or acting very passive aggressive towards R. If he doesn't make any attempt to look for his own place in the next week, she's vowed to gather up all his stuff and kick him to the curb. Literally. It's unlikely she'll uphold the promise.

J, H, A and L headed off to the Future Music Festival on Sunday. They spent the entire day front row on the bar, screaming the lyrics to Franz Ferdinand and The Prodigy. It alternated between being stinking hot in the belting sunlight and storming with rain. J made the perfect wardrobe choice or a rainbow bikini. A, a long-time hater of idiots in mosh pits with backpacks and/or sombreros stole a guy's bag and threw it into the crowd. He tried to start a fight. She won, managing to get him crowd-surfed out. L was a surprising survivor of the mosh pit. Usually the one seen spiralling backwards through the crowd, beginning a set in the second row and ending it in the fifteenth, she held her ground. It was a good bar to hang on to. H got involved in a bitchfight with a slutty girl she knew from uni. The girl went home with a rather large cheeck gash. No one could swear for sure where she got it from.

Friday, March 5, 2010

"Remember to learn to forget, whiskey shots and cheap cigarettes" Green day- Before the Lobotomy

After a stressful 4 days at uni, and signing up for classes which caused L to have panic attacks, A, B, J, L, K and H spent the night downing cranberry and vodkas and red wine hidden in handbags. Sure there are classes on Fridays but it's about time we started skipping some classes.

The night started at a bar K has regularly been kicked out of. Somehow she managed to muscle her way in and claimed she would spent the night sober. Yeah right. Ten minutes later she was going drink for drink with A, which wasn't a good idea on her behalf and might explain why she is going to spend Friday throwing up while A will be heading off to class. It might also explain her later behaviour but that's doubtful.

J and B soon whipped out their cigarettes and took up smoking with a guy who was the son of one of our high school teachers. J was discussing future tattoos while B was querying whether all those stories we'd heard from our teachers were actually true. K, however wasn't pleased about the smoking development. She cracked the shits and walked out of the bar refusing to be 'a part of it' whatever that means. A chased her halfway down the street before rolling her eyes and returning to her red wine.

Half an hour later B gets a call from K demanding to know where she is. Worried about her safety everyone started running down suburban streets, screaming Blink 182 and Rage Against the Machine lyrics. Because really, what's walking the streets without a little bit of madness? K was nowhere to be seen. B started to get worried, because she always thinks she's responsible for K which is ridiculous.

While H and J took a piss in someone's garden B began frantically calling K. A and L were subtly swigging more red wine. K finally turned up on the shoulder of some guy no one had ever seen before. He claimed to be Australian but had a clear kiwi accent and to think he accused A of sounding American. The guy announced he was meeting some friends at another pub that had a band. Everyone loves a band so off we went. The guy continued on his bad first impression by blatently flirting with both J and B. B muttered 'fucking foul' under her breath while K sat there and fumed.

Once the band started everyone was dancing like crazy. A, H and L were sharing a jug of beer until K started pouring it on the floor. In response H tucked the jug under her arm and the the three of them turned away to ignore her. Meanwhile J and B were outside smoking and flirting with these two guys they'd just met. K kept trying to convince them to join the others on the dancefloor but eventually J just told her to fuck off. K disappeared for awhile, only to be discovered by L 2 hours later making out with a different random guy in the alley.

By this point J had discovered the guy she was chatting to was a bad kisser and H was all but passed out on the floor so it was time for a Maccas run and walk home. A, B, J, L and H headed off, not realising until later they'd left K behind. This didn't bother any of them too much. Halfway on the walk they were chased by a bunch of guys on bikes. H screamed about gang rape and started sprinting only to trip over a pile of dirt. A got a leg cramp and managed to fall over while standing up straight. B and J had a water fight using someone's front garden tap.

By the time they reached Maccas they were all exhausted and it had started to rain. Even still, armed with Quarter Pounders and McChickens nothing really seems that bad. Until of course B receieves what can only be described as a screeching phone call from K, moments before a cab sped towards the McDonalds with K's head out the window and her screaming at B to 'get the fuck in'. She'd obviously been crying. B had no choice but to go home with her. The rest of us finished our second dinner (actually third in H's case, she'd had a cheap pizza at the second pub) before continuing our walk. A and J reached home soaked to the core while L and H couldn't take it and jumped in a cab.

Another night dealing with K's crazy antics. But hey, we always have stories to tell the next morning.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

"The Chinese Restaurant" as in the Seinfeld episode

Lately Y has been spotted by everyone, everywhere. Or so it would seem.

It all started when L went out to a new chinese restaurant with her damily for dinner last week. The restaurant was practically empty, but soon after they arrived who was to walk in? Y and his father. Cue awkwardness. L wasn't sure whether she should say hi or not. After all, she doesn't really know Y. Y was J's almost-fuck buddy and almost-boyfriend for awhile. They spent three months furiously making out and exchanging dirty texts before J dropped him because they weren't having sex. It's still unclear why. J believed he couldn't get it up but to be fair, he was usually off his face drunk. Anyway L doesn't know him all that well. B and K do but they weren't there. Still L had seen him several times and was prepared to talk to him. In the end though she didn't have to. He completely barred her. Even though he was seated only a few metres away he didn't look anywhere near her throughout the meal and didn't acknowledge her presnce whatsoever.

Next H spotted him at university. This is not completely out of the blue since they go to the same place. However they are doing completely different subjects and H is only doing part-time this semester so she can work heaps to pay the rent on her huge new place. He barred her as well, turning and walking in the other direction.

K spotted him next, also at university although not the one he or H attends. He tried to get away from her but no one gets away from K that easily. She screamed after him so he turned to face the music.
An interesting sidenote is that K hooked up with (and claimed to fall in love with, although keep in mind she does fall in love at least once a week) one of Y's good friends who never called her back. When Y, J, K and the guy K hooked up with all went out one night after the whole fiasco K kicked him and abused him. Although everyone has seen Y since, no one has seen his friend.
When he realised there was no escaping K, Y had to stop and chat. Because she's a psycho K accused him of barring everyone, even going as far as mentioning the story about him and L in the Chinese restaurant. She started attacking him and told him even though he isn't seeing J anymore she thought she and him were still friends and was upset that he hadn't called her. And until then everyone'd thought K's calling demands were exclusive to boys she wanted a relationship with. Evidently not. Poor Y. It's never fun when someone else makes a huge scene and everyone is staring at some tiny chick screaming at you. Y barely got a word out to K. He tried to apologise but she just yelled over the top of him telling him to stay away from her unless he was going to be a 'loyal' friend.

Looks like no one will be seeing Y for awhile. No wonder he was ignoring everyone.

"Forget reality waking up is hard to do" Sum 41- Heart Attack

J, A and H had trouble sleeping last night.

A was dealing with her never-ending cough that woke her up every time she was starting to drift off into blissful sleep. It probably didn't help that she was starving after not managing to secure a dinner date for the night. She spent the whole day making eyes at first-years but obviously they were intimidated by an older woman.

J was worrying about the fact that she appeared to be sharing all her classes with her cousins this year. She wasn't sure whether she should hang out with them, or whether that would be cramping her style and making them think she didn't have any friends of her own. But then if she didn't sit with them in class would they think she was purposely barring them?

H had a night shift at work and later went out for drinks with some work buddies. After a few too many gin and tonics, H wanted to pass out for the rest of the day but then was reminded she had a class this morning. And it's still the first week.

Monday, March 1, 2010

What we're doing this month...

Loving: French Toast and watching He's Just Not That Into You
Listening to: The Killers and All Time Low
Crushing on: Cute guys at concerts
Worshipping: Johnny Depp, is there anything he doesn't make look cool?
Eating: 4 and 5 dollar pub pizzas
Drinking: Sophisticated red wine
Rocking: Bright coloured nail polish to remind us of summer
Reading: Our uni textbooks
Failing: To keep our parents happy...as usual.

"You know, in case you were wondering: the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in" - Nate in The Devil Wears Prada

Today was B's first day at university since she's spent the better part of her time since high school travelling overseas, which is how she met R in the first place.

It should have been a mildly good day. She wasn't aware how bady uni gets at this point. She hasn't yet experienced a mid-semester lull (the kind that convince you it's a good idea to cut off all your hair, get a massive tattoo or start dressing punk) or a 'sick semester' (6 months of coughing, sneezing and addiction to soothers). She hasn't yet gone through a windy, hungry day where the only place you want to be is bed, not in a drafty lecture theatre taking notes with a stiff hand and a crap pen. K bought her a cold apple pie for lunch so she wouldn't be hungry. She only had two classes. She took up smoking last week so she should fit right in. So it should have been an okay day.

However, B didn't end up showing up at uni at all. Talk about setting a bad trend for the rest of the semester. A usually makes it through the first day before skipping classes, and J lasts a week. If you can't make it through your first class, what hope do you have for the rest of the semester? The thing is, B was always pretty good back in high school. While everyone else was wagging classes she was doing maths problems and writing essays. That was a while ago but the principles should remain the same.

Unfortunately there's R now.

B thought R was the love of her life when they met and had planned pretty much the entire future together within knowing each other for the first month. They met in Greece, but she soon moved to Scotland for a month and then he followed her back to Australia. That was a few months ago. He moved in with B and K, virtually mooching off them until he could find a job and possibly a place of his own. Well that's what A and L thought. L actually used the term 'ripped off'. Which, fair enough. He was living in their house while B and K paid the rent and bought the food and paid the bills. It was weird when they were together but then R dumped her (something about long distance being too hard...basically it was a bullshit break-up because he just doesn't love her that much) and it got even weirder. Not only are they still living together they are acting like they're still together...except the sex.

B finds herself joining R on all of his tourist escapades such as trips to the zoo, city etc etc. A week after they broke up they drove the Great Ocean Road just the two of them! B regularly ditches girl nights in favour of movies with R. She skipped o-week to help him find a job. They are always together and act like an annoying couple. When B, R, K, J and L attended the Good Vibrations music festival she saw the bands R wanted to see rather than the ones she wanted to. L and J weren't happy with the way she was following him everywhere. K got pissed off and rfused to leave the main stage but that's probably more a reflection of her personality than the weirdness between B and R.

So anyway today B was on her way to her very first class only to get a call from R. He wants to go to the aquarium. He wants company. Because she is how she is, B drops her own life to rush off to spend the day with R. Forget she has classes. Forget she has her own life.

It is clear B wants him back but she has to move on. R has. She can't continue to be 'friends' with him until she doesn't have any feelings left for him. Everyone knows it's hard enough to be friends with an ex without one person still being in love with the other. Maybe the problem is that B refuses to admit she wants R back. She always bitches about him and claims to be 'over' him when he isn't around. But at the end of the day B is either trying to please R or piss him off. Either way R remains her priority in life even though she isn't a priority of his.