A day in the life of...

The young have something no one else has or ever will have. Time.

It's true. We are smart, beautiful and...alcoholic.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

"Please allow me to introduce myself" The Rolling Stones-Sympathy for the Devil

This really should have been the first post but here we are, a summary of the cast of characters that make up French Toast and Failure.


Opinionated, blunt and honest A is a somtimes geeky law student and at other time rebelious and stupid. Works hard but play harder, A is constantly sick from nights of binge-drinking and obsessed with gigs and music. Currently undertaking a dating game whereby she can only eat dinner if a guy buys it for her, and is starving to death beacause of it.

A's best friend, J is an addictive personality addicted to everything from smoking to sex. Works two jobs and is a sometimes student but manages to party harder than everyone she knows. Regularly competes in drink-offs or fuck-offs (pretty much how it sounds) and is into spontaneous adventures like getting a tattoo out of the blue or flying halfway accross the country. Never spends a weekend at home. Ever.

Otherwise known as psycho-stalker-bitch. Pretty much the most intense person ever who has absolutely no control over her temper or anything else. REALLY desperate around guys and chases after them with endless phone calls and text messages. Has been kicked out or refused entry to pretty much every club in the city. Dreams of being a cop because she's always on a power-trip. Needlessly violent. DO NOT mess with K.

K's twin sister is constantly looking for balance in her life. Needs to please everyone which means she ends up pleasing no one especially not herself. At times she's J's party buddy sidekick eager to have countless one-night-stands and at others she's quiet as a mouse in the corner trying to not to get involved in confrontation. Has no idea what she wants in life.

The bitchiest person this side of Regina George, H is rarely nice to anyone who pisses her off. Is clear on her hatred of K, though gets along very well with R. Goes through jobs and drugs and houses like everyone else goes through toilet paper, H is always on the move. She doesn't like habit or being preditable. Has been known to shave her head just because someone suggested she wouldn't.

H's best friend, L is the golden girl and a goody-two shoes. Who drinks and smokes. L disappears for weeks at a time during exams and christian holidays. Has a loving family and a perfect academic transcript. Oddly, cannot find a job. Will probably be the first to be married with children now that B and R are over.

B's ex-boyfriend from overseas who just dumped her but is still living in her house. Needless to stay, K has tried to kill him. Deceivingly nice, R is actually very selfish and an always troublemaker. He tries to pull B away from her friends and toys with her heart. Not to mention ripping her (and K) off. It is suspected both K and B are still in love with him.
Not always around but always amusing, no one is really sure who N is or what she does. She's a lightweight when it comes to alcohol and can usually be found throwing up in a cab. Surprises everyone sometimes, like the time she was caught making out with a stranger on the train.
Dancer and good friend of J's, M can be endlessly judgemental. J often hides her indiscretions from M, who always finds out later. Always the first home on a night out, M knows everyone because she went to about 10 different high schools. Has an odd array of friends who are usually more fun than her.
Always has the best drinking stories (well, other than A, J and B) and is frequently the last one on the dancefloor. Whip-smart and with a long-term boyfriend, G is often caught dirty dancing or pashing other girls and guys in cloak rooms. Knows everyone that M doesn't and always brings a few extra to any party. In a bitchfight with J.
Sexy, hot and completely up-himself, V is a fixture in the clubbing scene. Has had an on/off love/hate relationship with A since forever and has also been with J for two nights. Gets into regular fistfights and can hook up with pretty much any girl he chooses. Is convinced L is in love with him, even though she's hated him since they were 5.
V's sidekick and partner-in-crime. Hated by A and loved by L, he's probably lucky to still be alive. Usually seen standing next to V and laughing at his antics. Has no real personality of his own which is probably why he's such good friends with V.
Everyone has a gay friend who isn't really gay. C is that friend. He's into musical theatre and wears expensive clothes. Somehow manages to get all the girls even though everyone thinks he's gay at first. Odd.
J's friend until she slept with his best mate and their friendship went downhill. Thinks everyone is a drunk and is probably right. K is infactuated with him even though they haven't actually met. If they ever do there will be trouble.
P is actually gay and is fuck buddies with pretty much every other gay guy in town, although currently in a relationship. Can drink everyone but A and J under the table. Usually the three of them are still going at 6am. Hates S although pretends they are mates.
B and K's older sister, T knows all the cool places to be when sober and knows nothing when drunk. Likes to steal things. Has a lot of older friends but J has already slept with all the hot ones. Is the only person other than B who thinks B and R can work it out.
K's ex-boyfriend. Feel very, very sorry for him. He is the main victim (other than B) of K's abuse. Is too afraid to see K which is ruining his friendship with H, B and M.
J's would-be fuck buddy except be won't sleep with her from some unknown reason. Suspected he either can't get it up or is just plain inadequate in bed.
*Letters have been used to protect the identities of the not-so-innocent

Thursday, February 25, 2010

"I wanna feel reckless, I wanna live it up just because" All Time Low-Weightless

The past weekend has been, as L and K would say, EPIC. The last weekend before uni gets back and everyones been pumping the midnight oil whatever that means.
A started the night on a date that wasn't really a date. She's recently been playing this game where she can only eat dinner if a guy buys it for her. It's an idea we got from Bridget Jones, although no one can remember whether it was the book or the movie. She convinced herself a guy she used to work with was asking her out when really he just wanted to help at a trivia night. Still she thought the fact that she thought it was a date was enough. Besides, it would be impolite not to eat with him and his friends.
Later that night A, B and K went concerting as K's favourite band were in town. The band was on the poppy side and B thought it was going to be a light night with no rough mosh pits but boy was she wrong. K managed to push herself to the very front, convincing people to move out of her way because she is short. Hmmmm. She was also screaming obscene comments at the band members. Fun times. Concerting is A's very favourite thing in the world and she is definetly a mosh pit girl. She's not one of those people who goes to a gig with perfect hair and make-up and leaves in pretty much the same way. No, she emerge sweaty and a total mess. She's been called an 'animal in the pit' which is pretty accurate. She goes to concerts with friends and ends up in a circle of wild guys, none of whom she know and usually can't spot a friend or another female. She pushes, she shoves, she screams and basically has a bloody awesome time. She's the sort of person who can rock out to a band she don't even know and think the very front row is overated because you can't really jump or push. Or crowd-surf. She's the sort of person who has to throw out my concerting clothes because they usually end up in shreds. And she doesn't even take drugs or drink at concerts. The music is enough. B was unhappily surprsied to get stuck in the mosh pit A started and had to move to the back 2 songs in. They hardly even saw each other throughout the concert but all had a good night. Well, A and K did. Not sure about B.
A drinks orange and vodka, J drinks tequila lime & soda, B drinks cranberry and vodka
A, J and B headed off to their local pub because Thursday is cheap spirits. Following that they went to one of those pubs that have live music and dancing. It was dead, probably because everybody else (like G) was frequenting uni o-week activities. Still they had an entertaining evening. B's pizza got dropped on the floor by bar staff and they had run out of pizza bases so they were entitled to free drinks but sadly no pizza. B has only just started smoking, so A and J sniggered when she tried to puff up (cough cough) in the beer garden. B stole a soap dispenser. J accused V of throwing gumnuts at her last time they saw each other, which was the previous Sunday night at the train station. He just laughed and proceeded to hook up with a chick 4 years his junior. A called him a pig. The night ended with slurpees at 7eleven and J leaving the soap dispenser behind. She then had to run back down the street to get it back. In the morning she discovered soap had leaked all over her bed. Whoops.
Tequila. Lots of tequila.
While A, H and G ate $4 pizza and went swimming, J, B, R and T were preparing for a big night out. They headed out clubbing into the city. J drank almost a whole bottle of tequila and was ready to roll. B wanted to piss off R so she insisted on spending most of the night smoking (or attempting to) as she knows he thinks its a filthy habit. Even though R is 5 years older than ex-girlfriend B he seems to have had many less life experiences. To piss off R even more, J informed R that both she and J has been smoking pot which was a lie. J talks a lot of bullshit when she's drunk, and often very convincingly. T was horrified but promised not to tell K because K hates drugs of any form and would scream at B and probably hit her if she thought B was smoking pot. Like she could talk anyway. Later in the night she threw up on R and had to go home. R had a miserable time, needless to say. J ended up sleeping with the guitarist in the band, convinced he was a member of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. He kicked her out of his apartment as soon as the deed was done and she was left to fend for herself on the streets. B and R went home together although not together and B was pissed off because she'd vowed not to spend any 'alone time' with R since they broke up. Hard since B, K and R live together. Not that R pays rent. Cheapskate.
Predrinks were vodka cruisers, followed by red wine and champagne with dinner, white wine on the train and mixed drinks at the venue
It was L's birthday so everyone was in good form. A, J, K, B, L, H, M and N all got together to party the night away. The night began badly when A ate too musch chicken and coffee cream cake and fell ill. She was already sick (as usual) though so it wasn't too much of a worry. B introduced L and H to smoking as it's her new habit. L hated it and coughed up her guts, H is already a closet smoker so that wasn't a big deal. K got massively pissed off when she discovered B has been smoking and screamed at her and made a huge scene in the club. She continued her psycho-stalker-bitch form chasing everyone around if they were out of her eyesight for more than a minute. She attacked A and H at the bar, demanding to know where they had been. They'd been waiting at the bar. To distract her, M tried to hook K up with a cute guy, but K was too worked up by this point and the guy ended up with M. V turned out to be DJing and A was not happy, abusing the crap out of the music at all times. N spent most of the night whining that she wanted Maccas. B hooked up with a guy who looked exactly like V, and who everyone thought was V, until it turned out it wasn't. J got a call from the guitarist from the previous night and was pissed off, telling him he lied about being a member of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers! A, M and N went home early while the others blacked out the rest of the night from alcohol. The morning consisted of coffee cream cake and buckets of vomit.
Tequila for B, R and T. Rum for J.
J, B, R and T went out for dinner followed by a gig down near the beach. Continuing their form from Friday night, J and T were drinking heavily while B was trying to piss R off by smoking and flirting with other guys. She attempted to call the V-lookalike from the previous night but he didn't answer his phone. She ended up pissed off. So did R. T had to go home early after getting sick again although this time she didn't throw up on R which was an improvement. J hooked up with three different guys and can't remember their names. R told B he was thinking about moving out but she insisited he keep living with her. They all ended up walking home when they couldn't afford a taxi (except T who left earlier). What a DISASTER.